[2402] Chapter 1 Excerpt (Chapter WIP Name: The Hall of Justice)

Chapter link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10EvUcO4uIAjzf1BSWdk05Kn7cnu7QHzxx9BlwwwDwO0/edit?usp=sharing

Critique links:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/8jhlrt/1957_working_title_noc_part_ii/dz1dwaq/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/8i6tvo/1142_the_good_the_bad_and_the_nearhikikomori/dyuy1bu/?context=3

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Hey guys. This is the first draft of the first chapter of an untitled book that I've begun work on. It'd be great to get some feedback at this point, since I'd rather continue writing knowing that the foundation is solid.

Any and all feedback is much appreciated. What did you like? What did you not like? Are you engaged with the story and the characters or did you lose interest? How is the writing technically?

Thanks very much in advance.