Excellent! Thanks for the specific details. :) 

I will work to address these inconsistencies. 

I agree that keeping the form is important, but even Shakespeare had a few nine or eleven-syllable lines.

There is no final period. The first lines of the first three stanzas are capitalized. The last line of the first two stanzas end in a period. The third stanzas period is after "slop" (which makes it stand out even more as an incongruous word). 

Additionally, your third stanza does not conform to any sonnet form I know of. At first, it seems like a Shakespearean sonnet (ABAB CDCD EFEF GG) but yours, at least in my reading of it, is (ABAB CDCD EEEE FF). Perhaps I am not pronouncing the words as distinctly as they should be?

There seems to be a pause after "warn" in the first stanza, but there is no indication of this through punctuation, either by dash, comma, or other. You also use a mixture of soft rhyme and perfect rhyme which does not seem like a purposeful choice, but one only out of necessity to conform to the sonnet's rules.

 I apologize if this is a hodgepodge of nonsense

Thanks for your feedback. What inconsistencies did you notice?  

I agree that the third quatrain is jarring. I'll see if I can re-write it to better fit the sonnet structure. 

I'm also aware that modern sonnets often deviate from the traditional sonnet structures. But if possible, i'd like to keep to that form. 

Thanks for the feedback! 

This is amazing for a first attempt. Sonnets are incredibly difficult. There is a lot here, but I think what caught my focus was the second line in your third quatrain. It might be the word choice which is a bit muddled, or it might be the meter, but something about this line is so jarring to me. Because the first half of the sonnet is stronger, the second half seems to weaken after this line. In fact, the entire third stanza seems a bit off to me. 

I think one of your issues is believing in the rigidity of the sonnet. Not every line must be pushed to ten syllables. Don't sacrifice the beauty of language for the status of sonnet. 

That being said, I see a lot of inconsistencies, that may be purposeful, but read as carelessness. Be aware of your punctuation, capitalization, and meter. 

I hope I am not coming off too harsh, as even to attempt a sonnet is an amazing feat. Please continue to craft your poems and please continue to share them.

Air does contain moisture, that is true. 

But it also requires the presence of moisture, either through the air or elsewhere, right? 

Iron rusts because of oxygen, not rain. So iron always rusts without the rain. 

Thanks! To be fair, I've been working on this guy for a day or two. 

I'll look into revising the end-- clearly it's not doing what it needs to. 

Your words haul some heavy weight, here. 

Also \-\- damn, first attempt at a sonnet? Could have fooled me \(or everyone else, ever.\)

I do agree \- that third quatrain bothers me. I think your writing is lovely, but it starts to unravel here for me. It becomes halting, and loses the intensity you built prior. I want your ending to tie this up and bring me back, but it doesn't. Please note \- I can't even write a sonnet, so you're killing the game, still, as far as I'm concerned.

Another funky sidetone \- something about this reminds me of Jane Kenyon, I don't know why!? No matter, this is lovely, as I said, and I'd love to read more from you. Will look out for you when you post.

"Sometimes the iron rusts without the rain" (First attempt at a sonnet!)