Nit OP, but I'll give you feedback if you promise to stop asking for it a weird way

i guess i can provide a more thorough critique for you. and yes, it's a good feeling to get feedback, especially because some people don't get any . . . if you know what i mean . . .

Appreciate the feedback, this being my first.

Would love to hear a clarification on how it feels redundant and generic, so I can improve.

Thanks!

some of your diction feels a bit redundant and generic. your rhyming has an interesting effect, especially between "ready," "rage," and "day." it's as if you slowly moved the rhyming while carrying some common sounds, like the "r" sound in "ready" and "rage," and the "a" sound in "rage" and "day."

[You can comment on my poem.](https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8n083o/her_innocence/)  


I'm not sure if I'm reading this right.  It seems to me this poem has two meanings.  One is the literal burning of fire, the other seems to be the fire inside man.  The fire that takes time to kindle, but gets hot enough to eventually carry us to our goals.

I do have an issue with line two.

> Gas bursts flashes and disperses, submersed and crashes, ashes to ashes 

I can only guess that you mean Gas bursts (verb) and not Gas bursts(noun).  If you intend bursts to be a verb, then you need a comma after it to show that it is part of the verb list.

>Gas bursts, flashes, and disperses...

Otherwise, if you intend Gas bursts to be a noun, then it is plural and you should change it to:

>Gas bursts flash and disperse...

I know it sounds pedantic, but those two lines have very different meanings depending on the grammar.  The little things often escape us, but you can see how ,much changes with the addition, or subtraction, of a single comma.

I hope this helps.

It's fine, in very few words you convey to the reader, although I kind of think that it's more of prose speech so it could be more poetic. When you get to the last lines it gets to the target and the curtains close suddenly but didn't let me unpleased. It didn't sound right though to call 'a burn', substantial.

A fire grows with fuel, dangerous yet essential    
Gas bursts flashes and disperses, submersed and crashes, ashes to ashes,    
    
But wood burns prudential, slow and steady    
Substantial burn needs work to get ready    
But work toward the burn and rage    
Rage until the close of day    
Work to burn and light the night away    

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8qpj33/the_road_of_me/e0ll0r0/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8qpxxm/soot_and_ash/e0ll22q/

Flash or Burn