Thank you! great response.
I'll keep that in mind! 
I'm no expert myself but I'm trying to learn and develop my writing.
Also my main language is not English I'm working on my words so all feedback is good feedback :) 

First, let me say that I appreciate you sharing something so personal.  It isn't easy to face our personal demons, let alone throw them out for the world to see.  It almost makes me feel like a monster critiquing this.

Understand, that I am not a master poet. In fact, I know very little about poetry in general.  My only issue with this is the rhyme.  For me, if a poem is going to utilize rhyme, it needs to be consistent.  By rhyming some lines, then not rhyming for a while, it jolts the reader out of the story.  Also, I would try to avoid rhyming the same words.  i.e.  you=you, me=me, etc... Doing it occasionally is fine, just don't overdo it.  Other than that, this is good.

Hey,

I'm taking your poem down because you haven't included two links to recent feedback, or because some of the feedback you've included isn't high-effort. If you're confused as to what that means, check the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/rules) and the [feedback guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques). Message me when you change the feedback and I'll put your poem back up. And of course, you can always post in the [Sharethreads](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/search?q=Sharethread&sort=new&restrict_sr=on&t=week) without posting feedback. 

Cheers,  
Dog the Mod

Trapped inside