Report: Florida mother left baby in tanning bed
Posted Jun 21, 2018, 1:04 PM UTC
15K286
Nothing wrong with a meat baby to me.
826
Aren't they made of meat, anyways ?
317
Exactly, the material is just a ^little different
233
True, nothing's as tasty as the real deal.
85
Someone once said that biting into the back of a newborn baby’s head would be little biting into a warm peach, and you’ve just reminded me of that post.
why
13
CAAARRRLL!
6
that's something a certain Llama with a hat would say
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Tastes just like a regular well-done baby anyway
1
I mean, yeah, jokes aside, i'd definitely never eat this
680
I'd have to check the inside had cooked. It looks like it's probably without flavour.
165
Yeah like is it just ground beef with no spices? I don't want to eat plain ground beef.
76
I cooked myself mincemeat without any other favours before, and it was very sad.
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You're not doing yourself any favors with this approach.
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Speak for yourself
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I will speak for myself and say that I would eat this only under duress.
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I’m still conflicted, it’s fucked up but so funny at the same time. Plus it does look good....
20
Plus it does look good....
How does it look good? It looks overdone, dry, no sauce, and if you're cooking a meatloaf with parts that have different proportions (the head is going to take way longer than the legs) I can GUARANTEE you some parts are going to be undercooked, and some parts are going to be overcooked.
29
It looks disgusting but with some sides it's fine. But you can just lop its head off and mutilate the rest a little bit until it's unidentifiable and your good to go serving it to the unsuspected. The trauma never subsides but it's easier to manage with a tum full of yum.
8
he did speak for himself though
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I am all british on this blessed day
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I agree, but it probably smells delicious and it has bacon so my opinion might change in a real life situation depending on if im hungry or not.
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I would. It's got bacon on it, and you can't just not eat bacon.
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Its a diaper
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It's not like it's a real baby. Bacon is bacon, man
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its a diaper
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France is bacon.
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I'd have to be high as fuck
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My baked ass would be extremely disturbed at first, then kinda be like “eh, beats having to microwave something else”, and then would devour the meat baby.
Sober me would just devour the baby.
1
Meat ain't cheap. I'd scoop it up, throw it on a bun with some BBQ sauce, grab a few strips of that bacon, and go to town. Fuck yeah.
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BBQ= "Babies Butte Sandwich"?
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why
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The fact that it’s Florida somehow makes it more believable. I don’t why. Why am I like this
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When it happens, it'll happen in Florida.
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“You’d never make Florida on purpose.”
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”Florida: God stopped watching years ago”
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[deleted]
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[deleted]
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Floridian here. Assumed it was true. Was more shocked by the meat baby. Is it nice where you live? I should relocate.
22
I’m in Canada. It is in fact pretty nice here
11
Florida’s got WARM nice beaches. I think I’m going to meat baby’s mama’s house for dinner.
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I’m sad to say that I have never experienced a warm beach in my life as a Canadian
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Weather is probably nicer in florida year around
1
Yeah it is. Here we have winter for practically 8 months a year and then scorching hot heat for 3 months. We also will have a month of pure randomness and bs. One day there will be a snow storm and the next it will be 15 degrees CELSIUS outside
3
Eh, depends on what you prefer. I live in FL and right now it's 90+ degrees out all day and 75% humidity. The only time I think Florida weather is actually nice is for a month or so around late December/early January when the temperature drops below 80 for a few weeks. I'd rather live somewhere cold and be able to add layers to warm up, than be hot and miserable despite being stripped down to my boxers.
But then maybe this is just a "the grass is always greener" kinda situation.
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I know that it’s fake but still
3
What are the eyes made of?
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Looks like garlic cloves
122
Mmmmm, eyes garlic cloves...
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eyes
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Baby eyes
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It’s actually ground baby meat shaped as a baby.
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[deleted]
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I HATE YOU!
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YOU WERE MY BROTHER ANAKIN!
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Hello there
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General kenobi
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You are a bold one
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I ATE YOU
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Someone’s gonna screenshot this and post it on r/PrequelMemes for a whole 66 karma
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Having meatloaf at my wedding in October. I’m gonna have these made for each table.
77
Get his and her meat babies instead of a cake.
32
Just a pile of meat babies stacked on top of each other.
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Oh these ideas are perfect. Then when my wife wants kids we will just pull out the meat baby cake we saved and eat it instead of having a real baby. Way tastier and way cheaper. Win. Win.
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Make sure you serve "Baby Gravy" and "Mashed New Potatoes" .....possibly "Steamed Baby Carrots" too.
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What - no Tater Tots?
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Finger foods...
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People will be more offended that you served them meatloaf, not that it looks like a baby.
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You’ve never had good meatloaf
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Dare you!
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Need a cellular peptide cake with mint frosting for dessert.
33
Dude, you can't just throw out a reference like that. Now all I can hear is worf mumbling it!
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I don't have anything to add, I just wanted to say I got the reference too!
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I didn't.
oh wait, yes I did. ( I'm on reddit, so I've seen all the star trek episodes.)
1
Me too! I even saw it quite recently.
0
Mac was supposed to leave dumpster baby in there only for a minute! Just to get a base
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Just to get a baaaase.
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Just to get a baste
FTFY
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i mean, i'd eat it. but who in god's name would do this
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That diaper looks tasty.
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I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
- [/r/nocontext] That diaper looks tasty.
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2
Those aren't even 2 photos of the same... Meat baby
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You do realize the moisture in raw meat cooks away? So it all shrinks in the oven.
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Just look at the bacon diaper... nope
3†
Bacon shrinks when it cooks.
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It does but these are different creations. The fat striping is different on each piece.
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Yup. It's not the difference in size, Bacon's does shrink as others point out, but what cooking bacon doesn't do is change the fat striping of each piece.
I now fear I am too familiar with every piece of bacon I eat...
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Also look a the baby legs. The second one doesn't even have them
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Also the tin foil
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[deleted]
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Holy shit youre right... why are there multiple meat babies out there
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In Denmark for birthdays we make a cake shaped like a man, which is decorated with candy. Then the kids scream when its carved out in pieces until someone cuts the neck and its dead.
Wonderful kiddie friendly traditions we have.
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Looks like a baby with harlequin ichthyosis
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Now I'm sad...
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Ouch
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Isn't every baby meat baby? :thinking:
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Everyone brings their favourite dipping sauces to the baby shower... I can get behind this
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I'm not letting meatloaf and bacon go to waste. But what kind of savage doesn't put ketchup and cheese on meatloaf?!
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I moved to Germany from Canada. Being german now I'd have a decent pile of mustard to dip my baby in before I eat it... especially its junk. Nothing better than good mustard and Speck
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I was never much a fan of mustard. But it's much more popular in Europe and England and my wife cooks with a lot of seasonings and spices I never heard of until I met her. It so different compared to American cooking. Typical food in America tends to revolve around fatty, salty, sugary; but other cultures use a lot of seasonings/spices/mustard/etc... It took some time to become accustomed to how she cooks but now i love it.
For instance there's an "Indian" place near my office sand everyone was talking about how good it is. I want and asked for spicy chicken tikka masala and nan. It was absolutely terrible. Bland, didn't taste right, looked like a bowl of orange colored soup, so I described it to my wife. She is certain the place is serving poorly made butter chicken. They're definitely not adding the garam to it and the dish is terrible without garam.
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You put that in the center for a better carving experience.
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You had meat hello
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[deleted]
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Jesus tap dancing Christ
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Hey OP can you provide the recipe?
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Sure!
- Baby
Hope you enjoy!
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Eat a big chunk right in front of them without breaking eye contact
Is that what people mean by make a power move??
LPT: Establish dominance with your kids by eating a baby.
“This could have been you”
It could still be you
You should see the ones mom ate even before they were conceived.
r/shittyfoodporn
Darknetnauts call it SI
She even made the best tasting part the creepiest place to eat.
Eat it anyway, assert dominance
[deleted]
Or pull a The VVitch and rub it on yourself like lotion.
I smell like beef... I SMELL LIKE BEEEEF
https://youtu.be/_OVg8uov78I
Take a fistful of meat out of the belly. Little crunchy bits on the hands would be good.
Devour it like your first born
Show dominance
And devour the entrails. Never forget the entrails.
And it better have ketchup/BBQ sauce as blood.. delicious meat baby
999 Upvotes!
I've reached a Reddit milestone! Next, the moon!
Bring the baby and put some of the moon cheese on it!