My Blood Family

Black eyes and blonde hair,
A sad mind and a blank stare.
Hi, I was a child once, you know,
But I was robbed of that too, though.
It's all my fault, she burnt these words
Into me with a branding iron and it hurts
I tried so hard, sister, to get through to you
I've exhausted all options, what can do I do?
My friends message me now almost all the time
I'm back to where I started, they know I'm not fine
They watched two years of progress be destroyed
With all the methodical mental abuse employed
You are in control of every little aspect of me
Am I giving you this authority? Could it be?
Or is it the situation I am trapped inside?
With no exit or escape in nearby sight?
And if I can't handle it anymore, will I,
Run the bathtub and go say goodbye?
Am I strong enough to stick around?
Or will I stick myself in the ground?
Maybe we'll just have to find it out
See if we can fix a happy drought
Please inform me if I should stay
Though too often I'm led astray
Should I really keep fighting?
In this world so, uninviting?
Even family puts me down
Where I'm never found
Down into the ground

--
Feedback given:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8u5sii/the_quiet_game_part_2/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8u4z0u/thoughts_between_texts/

I'm sorry I don't often write poetry, I need advice badly haha.