I'm trapped

This may be a long post.

My stbxh is my first love. I had loved him since I was 14 but had a crush since i was a child. Sounds sweet but keep reading.

I said had loved him because now I hate him. We've been married 6 years, 2 kids and together for 11 years but on and off 17. ( it was long distance before we started our 11 years)

We've been unfaithful, we. We've fought almost fist fights. His money is his as well as his bills and Visa versa. Difference is, in his head, I as a woman should do more. Like clean and cook su single day. I do this when I'm off thoroughly but usually tidy up daily. I've claimed if he helped me more financially I wouldn't have to work crazy hours. But aside from paying the rent which is subsidized, so very low, he doesnt help with anything else. This has been a major problem since we moved in together 9 years ago. I've dealt with it.

We have been on the verge of a dead bedroom for years. We'd have sex when we've reached our breaking point or were drunk. We havent kissed in months maybe close to a year. We have zero passion, he claims I'm dramatic and that's not an issue. I'm 31 hes 34, it is an issue. This is what has lead to infidelity.

We have zero trust and communication.

He broke it off about a month ago because I'm a slut, bad mother and wife and then tried to claim he'd never say such things when we spoke a few days after. He definitely did.

He hasnt left the house, hes sleeping in my sons room. My son knows something is up. He mentioned something to my aunt when she asked how everything was. He hasnt set a plan to leave and I'm just like I dont want any problems I'm just letting him be. But I get home from work, I work late hours, and the house is an absolute mess. Every single night. I'm sick of it.

We separated a couple of years ago and he went mia for months, no money, no visits for the kids. Nothing. I'm trying to keep things civil.

What would you do? What should I do ?