I [19M] am afraid that I'm missing out on what should be the greatest time of my life.

So far this summer, i've really been staying in most nights. I used to think of myself as an outgoing guy, always looking for adventure, but lately I feel like I've lost that about myself.

Let me preface by saying that in high school I had an... interesting time. I started off high school with high expectations. I was looking forward to party's, drugs, sex, romance, and everything thing else I was made to think high school was about. All that really came true of the preciously stated was drugs. I tried to surround myself with who I thought had similar interests, but it turned dark quick. For times sake lets just say I learned a great deal in those years about life in general.

Anyways, I cut everyone off for my own mental healths sake and I kind of kept to myself for my senior year of high school. Having a girlfriend (who i recently broke up with) helped during this time to keep me socially alive, but not having a core group of friends limited my experiences. High school made me a very different person than who I was when I started. Im no longer as energetic, happy, I barely talk anymore. Im more awkward, less outgoing, but on the bright side I am definitely smarter. I fear I just lost who I was.

Now that Im in college, being home for the summer is very lonely. I hang out with people occasionally, but I really don't like the culture in my area. It does not suit me well at all.

Since I cut people off, Ive really just been focusing on finding myself and my passions in life. I got a radio shift at my college radio station, Ive made tons of connections, and I even started a home studio where I book clients to record their music which led me to an internship at a professional studio.

What Im hoping is that my great years will come as a result of my work. It just pains me seeing everyone seemingly at their peak while I'm sitting at home with few people to talk to. And when I do go out, I feel even more lonely. Should I make an effort to find a scene and experience shit? Or should I keep doing what Im doing and let the scene find me?

tl;dr - highschool took the soul out of me, made me less social, but I still crave social interaction. Now that im home from college im bored and lonely, but productive in other beneficial ways. I fear im missing out on my golden years. What do I do?