8 days, so glad! I'm worried about a get-together on this coming Thursday... ( a bit rambling here)

Hey guys, glad to be here with 8 days of no drinking. Everything is definitely better!

I've been smoking weed on some days just to curb the cravings to drink, but I realized it's not really being sober. It's a way of getting "high" too, which I was looking for in alcohol. So I'm gonna cut that out for some time, too.

I'm quite worried about a get-together with some friends on Thursday. We've had these summer get-togethers for years now, we've known each other since high school, we always drink to excess and go out until 2 am. I would be lying if I'd say I don't want to drink, right now there's a big tug of war in my head.

I know I will be better off if I don't drink on Thursday. I'm certain the next day I won't regret not drinking.

I think why I want to drink is to experience that burden-free feeling of being 18 when drinking was not a problem. Now that I write this out I realize it's actually silly to think that by drinking alcohol I would return to a care-free state; I've struggled HARD exactly BECAUSE I've been drinking. It would be detrimental for me to drink on Thursday.

Lately I've been really taking in the fact that I'm an alcoholic. Some days it's harder to accept, some days it's easier.

I'm sure I'll be happier if I don't drink on Thursday. I can't promise myself anything, I only have today to worry about.

Thanks for all the support guys, you are all amazing people.