Does anyone struggle maintaining friendships/relationships?

Doesn’t matter if I make a friend irl or over online platforms, I always slowly ghost out of these type of relationships. When ever they ask me to hangout, I seemingly have an infinite box of excuses of why I can’t. Its a fear of “what if they’re just asking me to be nice and don’t really want me around?” It’s not that I don’t have interests in making friends/having any... It’s probably one of the most desirable things to me... Sometimes I think I talk to them to much, or I think I’m coming off clingy. I know I read to much into these things... but my worst fear is considered someone a friend, but they don’t see me the same way I see them. A massive insecurity of mine I suppose... So I pull back a little... and a little more... until I completely stop interacting with any given person. I’ve been like this since early in my grade school years around 6th grade. which is about the same time I became depressed.
Being this way doesn’t make it any easier dealing with depression when I’m always slipping out of friendships so I don’t really have someone to talk too. It’s frustrating and I hate myself for being this way.