My mum is driving me insane

My mum hates me spending time with my boyfriend.

We’re a bit long distance and I usually spend a few days with him at a time. It’s normally easier for me to go to him since he has work and my college is very easy to get to from his.

But every time I say to my mum that I’m staying at my boyfriend’s house for a few days... all hell breaks loose.

She tries to make me feel guilty. She says I’m abandoning her, she’ll overexaggerate her emotions and her physical health condition. She suddenly decided she needed a walking stick the one day I see my boyfriend because she was in “so much pain” but refused to take painkillers or use any of her pain relief things (heat pads, biofreeze, etc) and she made sure I knew she was doing this. So I reminded her of the time her doctor said not to use walking aids as they were making her worse (tennis elbow and all that) and she told me to fuck off down to my boyfriend’s.

Then when I stay an extra night, she’s all like “Oh I take it you’re spending another week down there then “. Just out of the blue. And then when I tell her that I’m nearly 21 and I should be able to do these things without her being manipulative and shitty, she says “fuck you” and makes me out to be this horrible person for spending time with my boyfriend.

She’s really dependent on me and I can’t deal with that. I don’t want to be living with her for the rest of my life. It’s toxic and abusive and I’m so fucking mad that I can’t word this all properly but I’m so done.

My boyfriend is a lovely person and wants a future with me with a nice house, a few kids and lots of doggos. My past relationships have been toxic and horrible and I’ve been cheated on. Now I have an absolute sweetheart who makes me the happiest I’ve ever felt.

Shouldn’t she be happy that I’ve found someone decent instead of pushing me away like this?