Abnormally terrified ratties.

I was finally ready for some new babies after losing my heart rat. Allistor was the only thing that got me out of bed some days and I had no idea rats were capable of giving as much love to a human and I'm so grateful I was able to have that experience. I'd give anything to have him back but unfortunately that's just not how it works, the only downside to having rats as pets is how little time you do have but I digress.

I've had little Tito and Otis about 3 months now and I have to be honest and say I'm struggling at the least. Maybe my expectations were/are too high for the little guys but based on my previous experience and the fact that other people always mention how amazing rats are, I expected them to be more friendly.

They're not aggressive and have never so much as nipped hard enough to cause any pain, they're just absolutely horrified at every little bump or movement I make. For example, I could be sitting on the other side of the room and I'll stand up or reach for something on the table and they scramble to hide so fast as though their lives are in danger. I never yell or smack them, the thought of that makes me sick. I live alone and it's never loud in my apartment, I approach slowly and talk softly to warn them I'm going to put my hand in the cage and they've just started taking treats from my hand.

It's seemingly the most traumatic thing for them when I pick them up, I have sat I front of the cage for hours with my arm in the cage in an effort to let them come say hi when they're ready. Very, very rarely they'll crawl all over my arms and even out into my shoulders but the second I move just a hair, they're running away, grooming for comfort in a scared way, nervously bruxing and backing away.

I have tried every last suggestion from other rat parents, vets, etc. I've tried trust holding or whatever the term is and I can't bear to put them in a situation they don't want to be in, the last thing I want to do is frighten them even more. I've reduced hideaways and tried confidently and securely holding them to get them out of the cage and on the rare chance I can pick one up, they are visibly scared and have even jumped about 4 feet from where I was standing back to the cage.

I'm not sure if they weren't handled enough as babies or if this is just the way they are but if anyone has any suggestions or advice on how to make them more comfortable and less afraid, I'm practically begging for help at this point. I want them to have a good life and when it comes to their environment, I cut no corners in their cage and diet.

They don't even want to come out for free range time even if I put the cage on the floor and let them come out on their own time, they'll poke their heads out of the door but won't step foot onto the floor. Honestly, it's heartbreaking and they're so afraid that I'm concerned their quality of life is suffering. It's definitely not a fulfilling thing for me, idk how else to word that, I know it sounds pretty selfish but it's not that at all.

I don't know, maybe expectations vs reality are too high or maybe I'm doing something I shouldn't do, I surely hope not, like I said, I do everything I can to help them learn that I'm not going to hurt them. I've simply never heard of an instance where 4 months have gone by and rats are still "adjusting" I truly wonder if they'll ever warm up to me because I feel like I've failed these poor ratties. I've almost given up on trying to interact since they clearly don't want bothered with and I just can't force them to do anything against their will. Any advice is welcome, I'm sorry if that was rambly and I hope it makes sense. Thanks in advance.