Under my Bed

Wow! What an ending! I like that you leave the discovery of dear old Dad's demise until the very end. This reminds me of the movie "The Sixth Sense" in a way. There is a bit of hopefulness in that the child is still emotionally connected to and holding onto the spirit of the father and can therefore see Dad; Sadness (Dad is deceased), a little creepiness (who's the monster? Is it actually dear old Dad himself?), Well written and attention grabbing. Thumbs up from me.

I agree that the content of the poem is really great. Such a clever idea. I think that the meter could do with a little work. Most of the poem is iambic (da dum, da dum etc). This means that other lines sound unnatural because you are forced to stress syllables which wouldn't be stressed in normal speech. For example, the "am" in "I am so scared". And the A in Achilles. If you read the poem out loud then hopefully what I am saying will make sense! I think just a wee bit of moving around words around would make a big difference.