Words are little seeds of thought we plant inside the mind.
Some die upon the fallow ground while other seeds unwind.
Their vines begin to grow and wrap around the neuron field.
That is why the tongue's the greatest weapon one can wield.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8y1184/retirement_haiku/e2g0bbe/?context=0
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8z40xm/calories_burned/e2g1ciq/?context=0
Posted Jul 15, 2018, 8:33 PM UTC
Out of curiosity, what was the tone of voice you had in mind to read this? My personal reading had it rather vindictive and spiteful, but that could be because I had written something to similar effect with that approach.
I was thinking about the power of words and how they create thoughts in our brain that grow (like the vines) and how we really need to be careful with our choices of words because the tongue can be a weapon of great destructive power when used to wield ill spoken words. Nothing vindictive. Just a statement on the power of words and their effect on our mind.
Thank you for asking.
Oh my gosh. I am usually so critical of rhyming poems, as they're my least favorite kind of poem, but I absolutely loved this. I can hear the iambic heptameter in my head as I read it, and the word choice is so great it rolls right off the tongue. And just the message of what you're saying was so perfectly executed.
10/10 would save just to re-read it on occasion.
Thank you so much. I am honestly unsure what iambic heptameter is but I play guitar by ear and sing and I just write to the rythym I hear in my head. I myself am a sucker for rhyme. To me, rhyming is like searching for just the right word (like a treasure hunt) and when you find it you mold it and sculpt it into just the right place in the poem to create the piece. It is like creating art to me.
I do appreciate the kind words and am glad you enjoyed the message. Words can have such a powerful effect on the mind and the tongue can become either a weapon or a healing balm. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and respond. Have a wonderful day.
This poem flows very nicely, and is joyous to read. I like the way that it kind of rolls off the tongue, which I suppose is the point that you're trying to make in the poem itself!
Not sure if you intended this, but for me it tells a story of the development of language in a newborn. Being spoken to by their parents/carers, (planting seeds of words inside the mind), eventually understanding longer words and sentences (other seeds unwind), going on to then make connections themselves and speak themselves (vines growing and warping, emphasis on neuron field), and then finally being able to speak properly (the tongue).
That was just the way I saw it I guess! Even if you didn't intend it, it's pretty cool that your poem evoked such a strong image in my head!
When I wrote this, I was thinking about the power of words and how they create thoughts in our brain that grow in our mind (like the vines) and how we really need to be careful with our choices of words because the tongue can be a weapon of great destructive power when used to wield ill spoken words,
However, I enjoy and see your interpretation of the poem through language development. That is the beauty of poetry, You can often get many different and valid interpretation form a single piece. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, analzyze and respond to my writing. I appreciate it.
I enjoyed the beat and rhyming scheme of this poem. I liked that the rhyming did not feel forced, but you were able to naturally and aptly describe the power of words. Great job.
Thank you very much.
Love, love, love this poem. Simple and true. Perhaps not the most original thought but nonetheless quite well said.
Thank you.
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I love this!!! I love KJV. If there is one lesson I have learned in this life, it is the power of words to either lift up or to harm. Words have incredible creative and destructive potential. We MUST be careful with what we speak into existence. We don't want to be the root cause of self-fulfilling properties. "In the beginning was the WORD and the WORD was with God and the WORD was with God." John 1:1 "God SAID "Leter there be light, and there was light!" GENESIS 1:3 Bang! The Big Bang if light came into.existenc through the creative power of the WORD.
I have also learned I need to bridle my tongue or super glue my lips. Seriously. My tongue has caused me great grief at times. Words spoken in anger can't be unspoken and words DO hurt and seriously wound the emotions and the psyche. The tongue is a sharp, unruly, and potentially deadly member if you allow your emotions to control you. I sometimes feel like I am caught in a battle between my heart (emotions) and my guts (instincts) and my brain (logical reasoning) and my brain is catching the brunt of trying to figue out what is the most logical and best solution and what is not.I sometimes don't know which way to turn.
But I try to focus on what I have to in public and share my innermost feelings in writing as type of catharsis. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
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Another Bible I really enjoy reading is the Geneva Bible written in 1560.
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Very thoughtful, had to think about what you meant in some of the lines. Good read.
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. Glad you found it thought-provoing and a good read.