This is a great poem. The sing-songy prose is so opposite of the seriousness of the message, it magnifies the meaning and compells me to reread it to make sure of the amazing way thay you describe the relationship between you and the other person, ie, what we don't say to eachother while we do what we do what we do with eachother...maybe I'm having difficulty saying what I mean, but I think you know.
Not many can pull off such rhythm without rhyme until the very end, but you did it effortlessly. Great work!

I love this! Now for critiques! I think that you should change the title (or not have one). I see that having it sets the scene, but I think the imagery is strong on its own and having the title takes away some of the effort a reader needs to put into a poem to make it theirs. Ummm... perhaps you could also add another set, or a few, to create a full story, but actually it reads pretty good as it is. I think the title is my main critique. In terms of my interpretation, it seems to harken to the theme of conflict, regardless of the actors. It could be a person fighting themselves, which is how I kind of read it, or any number of situations. So really good job at conveying that theme. Also, it kind of reads like a pop punk song, which I'm a total fan of. Could be cool to put to music! Thanks for sharing!

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