I'm shocked by what I just found out...
uhh... so I just found out (via a Facebook post in which he was tagged by the mom) that my would-be fuck-buddy (and University peer) just had a child... we are both in our very early 20s...
So we were texting and the texts started getting a bit raunchy so we agreed to meet up (presumedly for fucks), and he told me in 2 weeks... I was weirded out by the long time period, but okay... well it turns out that his child was being born in those weeks, so!
Honestly, I'm just shocked. He never mentioned anything when we talked before, only that in January he broke up with his girlfriend (which he made to seem like a minor thing... surely they knew about the pregnancy by then!). The subject of children may have also come up at some point in our conversations since then but no indication that he was expecting one...
I mean, I don't know if this makes a difference? He's clearly not still together with the mom, and well everyone is allowed to have sex lives... but it just seems so... like he's completely uninvested in his child (not the sex part, the part where he doesn't ever talk about it)?
I literally never go on Facebook but decided to scroll through and was met by this! Trolls, I need perspective (or maybe just a listening ear because I have no one I can safely tell about this).
Posted Jul 20, 2018, 12:10 PM UTC
What worries me about this situation is his lack of care/interest that he fathered a child. To me it seems like he's not going to care about yoy/your health if it comes to std's and pregnancy. You need to watch out for you. Otherwise, if it's just for sex, and it's just for now, his parental status shouldn't matter as long as you are into him.
That's precisely the thing... my interest wanes when a guy acts wrongfully/has a bad personality (from my point of view), even if it's just for sex.
On the other hand, I don't want to judge him; maybe he does care but doesn't want to be public about it (or is scared to) so it comes off as a lack of interest.
But yes, definitely, if anything does go down between us I will be looking out for my sexual wellness. Thanks for the words :)
If you are no longer interested, then don't do it. Why are you even considering it still? Don't do it if you are only going through with it because you said you would. You are allowed to change your mind.