[1104] Arrival

Hi there, folks. This is the first little section of a YA novel I'm working on. I'd like to apologise for the awkwardly justified text; I pasted from Scrivener, and wasn't able to figure out how to shift all of it to the centre. Nevertheless, I hope you get at least some enjoyment from this piece. I am eager to know your honest, true thoughts.

Here's my critique.

Thank you in advance!