Going Up?

First of all I liked your rhyming scheme for the most part. I really wish the poem was formatted differently so that we can really see the rhymes better. I'm not sure if it was intentionally run together or if you just had technical difficulties. Ok so now that I've written that and see the post from the comments view it looks right...So not sure what's going on there. Onto more substantive things:

Shoot up and grew up,

I think you are trying to maintain the "oo" sound in "shoot" and "grew" but their tenses are different so it feels disjointed temporally.

Indebted with knowledge now embedded

Love this line--speaking truth to millennial saddled with student loans! Something most of us can relate to.

When you lived life now,

Why is lived in the past instead of the present here since you say now which indicates present tense.

I just feel stuck like my life just doesn't exist I think if you deleted the second "just" here the rhythm would be more pleasing to the ear. Plus you already said just once in that line.

So I type away the pain, whether hurtful or mundane So I get where you're going with hurtful or mundane especially where mundane rhymes with pain but I will say that pain is not usually considered mundane. It always hurts even if it's chronic. So perhaps reconsider that rhyme.

So I pledge aim up and become one of the stars I think you can say "to aim up" instead of just "aim up" and still maintain your rhythm OK and it would just make more sense grammatically.

Or fall back and impact like my name was Tzar

Is Tzar a reference to someone who raps? I'm not familiar but that doesn't mean the rhyme doesn't work here.

Overall I really liked this. It speaks to the problems facing twenty somethings. Good job.

"Armed to the teeth but where am I headed"

Probably my favorite line of the whole poem. It speaks to the accumulation of knowledge in a field, enabling you to have the capacity to make act, and yet still lacking the driving morality or target to justify that action. Beautiful.

Critically speaking (and I know this was already addressed) the changing of verb tense takes away some of the conceptual smoothness of your piece. It makes it a bit more jarring, without adding meaning. Honestly I would say its positive aspects far outweigh the negative though. Meaningful in a timely and relevant way.

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