This is for Zainab

Zainab is awesome

I would totally save Zainab over a million beautiful blonde girls

Tracks with Zainab on them are absolutely no go.

Zainab is my favorite moral quandry

How many innocent lives are worth more than one Zainab on a bad hair day?

Trick question: Zainab doesn't have bad hair days!

How many hearts would ZAIBAN stop with a smouldering look with her red lipstick on?

All of them.

But Zainab uses her powers of superhuman beauty only for good.

How much for that sleek iMac you've got there, dear?

I'll give you five quid.

Zainab makes chavs choke on their crisps when she walks into the room with those sweet shoes on.

In some mythologies, the sound of Zainab's laughter is said to have created the stars.

When god first heard it, he cried luminous tears of joy that spread throughout the heavens, and which provide light and beauty for mortals to this very day.

If you call her name and she doesn't answer, she's probably busy training angels.

They say that touching a rabbit's foot is good luck.

Touching Zainab's foot brings way better fortune, but good luck getting away with that, you dirty old man!

Seriously, the cops are like, in the next room.

I heard that if Zainab touches a piece of food, or even a glass of water, it instantly fills with 100% of the recommended dietary intake of Vitamin Z.

My phone battery can charge from just the sound of Zainab's voice.

In other mythologies, Zainab is the goddess of walking. She can identify every person on earth from their footprint.

She can...but she refuses to acknowledge those with ugly shoes.

Zainab is still top notch

She's my favorite polyglot

What