Bring it

Feedback Received!

I'll probably get a lot of down votes for this one but hopefully lots of comments too which as you shall see is precisely the point.

If you don't like something of mine

that's fine.

But don't down vote

without leaving a note

about what I wrote.

Don't be a coward.

--

You might not like what I have to say

but I'll probably say it anyway

because what I say comes from the heart

even if it's just a start.

Don't be a coward.

--

Talk to me.

Feel free to disagree.

But not engaging is enraging.

So go ahead and down vote,

just please be kind and leave that note.

Don't be a coward.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/91qkgy/comment/e30nqei

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/91nkb8/comment/e30p4jh

Posted Jul 25, 2018, 5:49 PM UTC · edited

312
noahbardsley22•

I think the constant use of ‘don’t be a coward’ is very effective here. I also am in love with the rhyme of ‘engaging and enraging’ and so I think that other rhymes in this poem could be improved. ‘Note and Vote’ for example are very common rhymes and although they flow very well they don’t make the lines stick out at rememberable. The critiques are very slim though as I think this is an all round great poem! Keep it up!

2
AinoKalevalaOP•

Thanks for engaging.

1
AinoKalevalaOP•

Also agree with your critique. Will see what I can do to improve.

1
AlmostSilent94•

The flow of this poem is actually amazing, I love it.
Instead of "Though you don't like what I have to say, I'll probably say it anyway", I might have written "You might not like what I have to say, but I'll say it anyway" because I think that might flow a little better? But other than that I think this is pretty much perfect and I do really like it.

2
AinoKalevalaOP•

Thanks I like your suggestion and will incorporate that in.

1
AinoKalevalaOP•

I think I'll keep probably just because it conveys my honest intentions. I might not say something if I think it is too taboo :)

1
SeraphOfChicken•

Very interesting poem. It’s short and sweet. Pretty good rhyme scheme, but it feels a tad presumptuous in assuming the reader will dislike it, but that is part of the charm, so I can’t exactly complain. Overall, It’s a nice piece of work. Keep on doing what you’re doing, man. :D

2
AinoKalevalaOP•

Thanks.

1
GalaxyQuest18•

Haha, nice lines! A good poem has a very focused theme and idea, and this poem, I'd say, has that focus: "give me some feedback, dammit! i'm a human being after all, so don't just be a coward and hide behind your down vote!"

2
AinoKalevalaOP•

Thanks. That was indeed the point.

1
EmeraldTwiggs•

I’m a fan of free verse and spoken word, so I like the repetition of “Don’t be a coward,” but I also agree with your message. If you don’t like something, leave a note about it, don’t just down vote. You’re clearly open to discussion and that’s awesome.

2
AinoKalevalaOP•

Thanks. I do try to be.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1