Source
r/askgaybros•
TheTinyTim

Have you ever been friends with someone you’ve dated?

A guy who I actually had a very great time dating briefly told me today that he’s still getting over his ex and doesn’t think he can handle jumping into anything with me. He did, however, say he really wanted to be friends. We’ve all heard this before and it never pans out so I’m obviously skeptical, but he never gave any red flags while we were dating to make me think he’s a bad person, quite he opposite actually. We got on very easily and he’s fun to be around. I could see being friends with him, but I’m wondering if anyone else has actually had that work out because I haven’t lol however, I won’t chase that; I think the ball’s in his court on that one and if he wants to hang then of course I will.

Posted Jul 27, 2018, 12:23 AM UTC

1522
spiteful10inchdildowicked smaht•

Absolutely. Quite a few times. It's just the way it is, sometimes. You're not going to be romantic/domestic partners with matching tank-tops or chinaware -- but you like each other and want to pal around now and then. Sure, that works.

I've even been roommates with a former date. Worked out well.

17
TheTinyTimOP•

Thanks for the insight. I was hoping for the same thing since it’s not often you meet people you click with so if there’s no animosity why not be friends? I’m always skeptical, though, because the last guy said that as well and after it became clear I wasn’t going to stick it in him he completely stopped talking to me and blew off hanging out or even basic contact. So I’m just a bit apprehensive.

3
Ggffl•

Yea we were friends for ten years

6
MaxC5•

Yes but not guys I’ve had serious relationships with.

A few of my friends are guys I’ve been on dates with and realised we’re better off as friends.

4
clivesplice•

I'm still friends (active communicaton) with two of my exes. They're genuinely nice people and although we didn't work out, the break-ups weren't because of lack of trust, etc. We just felt we grew apart and felt the need to move on. Fast forward to today, one of them is dating someone I like for him. One is stil happy too. I see them whenever I can to catch up.

Dates that I've never been in relationships with (ambiguous people who took time, took things slow, were not ready, etc.); those were the hard ones to maintain-- just because the friendship was not established yet. It's either we ghost each other or we just stop communicatng except viewing each other's IG stories. I have a few who became platonic friends -- they exist, too. Date didn't go well but we like to hangout together so became friends instead.

4
TheTinyTimOP•

Yeah see that’s where I’m feeling like most of these stories end lol communication graveyard. Idk he seems genuinely interested in being friends but it’s one of those things where I feel like if you’re dictating the terms of engagement you have to be the first to engage on those terms so I’m just letting him decide if he wants to pick that up.

Thanks for replying :) glad things seem to work well for you and your relationships

2
JoMax213•

Yup. Stings for a while after tho

3
crypticbread218/Male/Gay/Side/Bored ¯\_(ツ)_/¯•

I dated someone for 2 and a half years before mutually deciding that we weren’t compatible getting married, so why date any more, plus we were going to college soon, so we decided to break it off. We’re not super close anymore, but we’re completely fine with each other, and hang out fairly frequently.

2
quietsometimes•

Yup. The physical attraction wasn't there, but our personalities were a good enough fit where it felt pretty natural to ask him to stay friends.

We had like two dates and just started hanging out afterwards. We're pretty good friends now.

2
politicallightening•

Yeah man. But it is with a girl. Years ago I dated girls and had a long-term relationship with her. Took her on a cruise and vacations. Fast forward 10mo and I'm dating a dude and talking to her about it. It takes time to rebuild trust but it's definitely possible. Went to her wedding this year and had a blast

2
Mangel02•

Yeah, one guy. We broke up because I was dealing with the death of a friend and he was emotionally unavailable, but our thing was always playing Smash Bros, so when 4 was announced a few months after we broke up, we reconnected and hang out occasionally to play that. He can really get under my skin sometimes, so I think we would not have worked out in the end anyway.

2
txholdup•

I dated a guy about 5 years ago for 9 months. We are now best friends. He has a bf but we still hang out, go to dinner, text, chat. He has a key to my house and when I was hospitalized in June it was he that brought me clean clothes.

2
TheTinyTimOP•

That’s really sweet; good on the both of you! If you don’t mind my asking, why’d you both separate in the first place? Always curious what situations lead to fruitful friendships

1
txholdup•

We weren't sexually compatible. We make much better friends than bf's.

1
Nazi_Marxist•

Nope. Reason we stopped dating is because we've nothing in common. No point in trying to be friends after

1
tinchowilly•

A couple of guys who I’ve been on a few dates with, like, three dates max, but that’s because I’ve never seriously dated someone besides one asshole a long time ago.

1
Maxpowr9•

I've gone on a few dates with a guy before, had zero romantic chemistry, and decided to be friends. It can happen but is rare.

1
ScorpioRising85•

Yeah, but generally if I date someone we end up together, one of us fucks it up, we break up, then we don't talk anymore.

1
DSwipeI am•

Everyone I‘ve dated so far either ghosted me or just stopped messaging me so I guess not.

1
ToastedCrumpet•

I don’t see why not, just depends I suppose. My current partner is friends with most of his ex’s, he’s best friends with a guy he went on one date and most friends he has are ex fwbs.

1
slashcleverusername•

Usually the same thing that stops you from dating is relevant to whether you want to be friends with them.

And usually I know what kind of relationship I would want with someone. If I wanted a dating relationship, that’s specifically what I want, not a friendship.

1
Minimalloser•

Im still friends with a couple of the girls I dated in the past but thats it. One of the girls i still talk to quite frequently, shes getting married soon to a really awesome guy and I'm happy for her. The other two girls i dont talk to as much but they are doing all right.

1