Source
r/legaladvice•
linuxlass

I pay alimony directly to my ex. He pays child support to me. Is it possible for me to arrange things such that the stage garnishes the alimony in order for me to get the child support?

I'm in Oregon. My ex lives in Ohio, as far as I know.

My ex is a full time grad student. This past year, he got a stipend, but only for the school year. The stipend was garnished. Since it's now summer, I have not received any child support for two months. I don't know if he has a summer job, and I don't know if he will continue getting a stipend next year. He refuses to talk to me and is generally very uncooperative.

I pay him alimony through Zelle (direct person-to person electronic transfer) each month, so I know he has plenty of money to be able to pay me the child support he owes.

Is there a way that I can pay my alimony through the state, and request that they garnish that money, so that I can be sure of getting the child support he owes my kids?

Posted Aug 4, 2018, 5:22 AM UTC · edited

18824
BlackFire68•

You’re basically asking “is there a way for me to pay and get paid (alimony and child support) the way that most people do it”? So I have to believe the answer is yes.

In what state was the divorce granted?

161
linuxlassOP•

Divorced in Oregon. Apparently my situation isn't that common, as there's no way to do what I'm suggesting.

The laws and procedures around child support are different from spousal support, and there are tax implications as well. You can't combine the numbers.

3
awalktojericho•

I would get an attorney for this. Child support and alimony are two entirely different things that do not relate to each other legally. If he owes child support, there should be a mechanism that lets the state collect it from his paychecks (as a grad student, he most likely has some work-study type of job as a lab rat or TA) or even take his tax refund.
Deducting it from your alimony is a no-go, since the two have nothing to do with each other. You would get in trouble for this, which seems silly since he doesn't pay his part. But you would.

You might even try calling legal aid about this--they might know the mechanism for all this.

66
LibrarianBelle•

INAL but I would contact your lawyer and ask if you can subtract the child support from the alimony legally since he is unreliable in getting the child support to you. If that isn’t possible, you can have his wages garnished to send you the child support. A friend of mine just went through that only to have her ex quit his job. They are now using minimum wage amounts but she still gets child support.

40
tyrrellj•

Oregon child support caseworker here, there is no way for us to garnish what you pay to him in alimony to get it back to you for child support. They would be set up as two separate cases, and there’s no way for us to just take from what you’re paying him. As others suggested, it makes more sense to go back to court or get an attorney and modify the order, rather than to have both people ordered to pay each other but it’s really your decision how you want to proceed!

30
linuxlassOP•

ok, thanks. I find it mind boggling that the state has the ability to garnish wages and taxes, but can't garnish alimony if it goes through the state's accounting system.

I understand that these are two different systems and cases, but still, it seems to me that it should be straightforward to implement this kind of arrangement.

2
SnowChica•

It's because the system screws guys. You are one of the only 3% paying alimony to men. Flip those genders and people would be in an uproar, at how unfair the system is especially when it screws someone it shouldn't, such as your case.

1
Shillyshelly•

NAL

Contact Oregon Child Support support and apply for enforcement services

In the meantime, you need to continue to pay alimony as per your court order.

21
linuxlassOP•

I called the DA's office and they said that enforcement would kick in when he owed above a certain balance. I asked a bunch of questions, but basically it comes down to "be patient". I can't even imagine how much of a hardship if would be if I needed this money to pay my month to month bills. This system has so many ways it could be improved :(

1
EppieBlack•

How are you guys in a situation where he pays you AND you pay him? Wouldn't it be saner to modify the decree so that only the person with a net amount pays? Even if his is temporary relative to the child support (i.e., You pay him 300/month while he's in grad school but he pays 300/month until his kid is 18) wouldn't it make more sense for him to not get alimony at all but rather to agree to delay the start of child support instead?

7
ZamielVanWeber•

NAL but AFAIK alimony and child support are triggered by different situations and use different metrics to determine their numbers and use different standards to determine when they should change and by how much. If the two are combined that number could be fluxing a lot and who pays who could flop back and forth, rendering it a huge mess (this is a bit worse case granted).

3
linuxlassOP•

I have the kids, and he's a full time student with no job and no income. Our divorce judge (for some reason) didn't say "you are capable of working at least part time" despite a number of practical skills and a large number of college credits under his belt. The judge said, "ok you can be a full time student", and awarded alimony that would step down a couple of times over the following 10 years.

Child support stops when the kids turn 21, which will be before the 10 years is up.

Two different sets of laws, two different calculations. It's kind of interesting how the math worked out.

2
LocationBotBigly Tremendous!•

http://imgur.com/a/myIAb

I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.

It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.

Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.

Author: u/linuxlass

Title: I pay alimony directly to my ex. He pays child support to me. Is it possible for me to arrange things such that the stage garnishes the alimony in order for me to get the child support?

Original Post:

My ex is a full time grad student. This past year, he got a stipend, but only for the school year. The stipend was garnished. Since it's now summer, I have not received any child support for two months. I don't know if he has a summer job, and I don't know if he will continue getting a stipend next year. He refuses to talk to me and is generally very uncooperative.

I pay him alimony through Zelle (direct person-to person electronic transfer) each month, so I know he has plenty of money to be able to pay me the child support he owes.

Is there a way that I can pay my alimony through the state, and request that they garnish that money, so that I can be sure of getting the child support he owes my kids?

LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues

5
bauhaus83i•

I believe one is tax deductible and one is not. So you can't just offset/credit one against each other.

2
SellingCoach•

Is there a way that I can pay my alimony through the state, and request that they garnish that money, so that I can be sure of getting the child support he owes my kids?

Probably not, but you can most likely get your child support paid through the state. It will be deducted through his paycheck and sent to you from the enforcement agency.

If he's not working for any time they will send the bills directly to him and he will have to send a check to them.

I paid child support through the state and it's great for both parties. There was no way for me to forget to pay the bill, and I never had to deal with her not receiving a payment.

1
7SurelyTemple7•

Do not use zelle for any type of government payment. You have no record of provinf what tbose payments are for.

-6
UmbellateSaxhorn•

What payment methods gives you proof of what the payment was for? That isn't even a thing.

When you go to court they don't ask "how can you prove what this payment was for?" they ask "did you pay?".

15
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
7SurelyTemple7•

When trasferring money using zelle the only trail is an email or phone number its being sent from.

Instiutions offer transfers services that will allow you to add a name and account number to complete and transfer. These direct transfers provide more a paper trail. Which means its documented in programs we use to approve and deny transfers.

Further more the receiving party can simply switch switch the token they are verified with when a payment is incoming, then switch it back at later date. This can make the payment appear late. Zelle and the receiving institution are in no way liable for the transfers you make. If a payment is not received due to their network error they are not held liable and the payment is still considered late. This is a poor way to send scheduled government payments.

1
linuxlassOP•

He sends me an email saying he received the money.

For a long time I insisted on writing a check and sending it certified, and then he moved and refused to give me his new address. He insisted on electronic payments, and Zelle is the only way I know of to transfer large amounts of money conveniently and with no fee. In the interest of not having a big fight where I couldn't force my way, I decided to just do it his way, as long as he sent me an email acknowledging that he got the money.

If one day he refuses to acknowledge my payment, I'm not sure what I will do. Maybe go back to insisting on a physical address.

2
atxcats•

I'm a bit late, but you said he's a grad student. Assuming you know what school he is with, could you send a check certified to his department?

1
MauriceWhitesGhost•

I dont know how it is with alimony, but with child support (an active account, that is) money cannot be paid in any way other than through the government resources. If it is paid in any other way, it is considered a gift and will not be counted as child support payments.

Also, I had an account where the child support was not active, which meant one party did not enforce it by calling in to say they were not receiving support. This was in Iowa. I dont think Oregon has an unenforced child support rule.

0
UmbellateSaxhorn•

I don't think there is a state agency that exists to facilitate alimony. The state cares a lot less about ex-spouses than it does about children.

2
[deleted]•

[removed]

-16
rallias•

Is it just me, or does that sound like a great way to be held in contempt of the order to pay alimony?

11
auriem•

Should have been ordered by the courts..

My buddy's wife is ordered to pay him alimony of 500$ per month. He is ordered to pay her 1000$ per month in child support.

What actually happens is he pays her 500$ a month and she gives him nothing (except for spite)

9
jmsutton3•

It is, this is terrible advice

6