Goose Blood Lady

Feedback Received!

Goose blood flew down upon the Thames.
Me and no friends, still none, just watched.
As quacks, the last, fell dead, she laughed.
She then threw it, tears hit the Thames.
Her sickness mixed with blood, she turned.
The coat she wore now bleached with clots.
A lost smile spread, showing no teeth.
I puked, fell sick, began drugs, hard.
She, loudly, left, spraying small kids.
My wet dreams bleed goose blood now, thanks.

I wrote this aiming to use an iambic octameter. If you think I've failed at some point I'd most like feedback with this as the tone of feet is what I struggle most with.

Feedbacks:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/94rjm1/bonded/e3oc0e4/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/94uoah/95_in_your_box/e3obr32/

Posted Aug 6, 2018, 12:57 AM UTC · edited

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