Source
r/weddingplanning•
ComradeH

Do we need to do bridesmaids/groomsmen gifts?

Question

Guys, we're a week out and now super poor thanks to paying off all our vendors. I so desperately want to chuck this in the fuck-it bucket.

So far we've paid for:

  • Bridesmaids dresses (They're doing their own thing for shoes), $150

  • Bridesmaids hair, $80

  • Bridesmaids makeup, $90

  • Bridesmaids bouquets, $80

  • Groomsens suits, $150

  • Groomsmens ties and pocket folds, $30

  • Groomsmens cufflinks and tie clips, $20

  • Hotels, $110-140

  • Breakfast and drinks the morning of the wedding in our rooms

If we're paying for all the little bits, do we still have to do gifts? Could I get away with giving them a nice card with their flowers on the morning of the wedding and say a sincere thank you?

Posted Aug 13, 2018, 8:02 AM UTC

38
Akinto6April 12th 2019•

Wow you paid for a lot. First of all you don’t have to do anything.

Unfortunately some people expect the couple to pay for these things and expect a gift as well.

I’m not one of them but since you have them so much already I wouldn’t do a gift but rather something emotional. Write a heartfelt card or letter to each of them, detailing how much they mean to you and how happy you were that they agreed to be part of your wedding.

You could even do it a week after the wedding so you can incorporate stuff that happened the day of and silly recollections of what happened and how they helped you.

14
Smaragaid_RoseMay 2019, Cincinnati•

Personally, I think you've paid enough. a heartfelt card or letter should be enough after all of that

11
Beana001Chicago Burbs Sept 29, 2018•

I think this is a location based situation because I know in the UK buying the clothing is traditional but idk what the tradition is with the gift. But in the US if you are buying all of this foe them when typically it isn't all covered then a thank you card seems completely fair to me!

3
bltrvns96.2.2018•

You’ve been plenty generous! I would not do an additional gift.

2
ComradeHOPMrs C <3 August '18, Cotswolds UK•

Thank you guys!

I know I'm over thinking things, it's so hard to know where to draw the line or whats expected of you if you've never done this before!!

2
direct-to-vhs•

WOW that is a VERY generous list!!!! I don't think you need to give them an additional gift, but I agree a heartfelt note or letter would be very sweet.

2
MK974279/22/18 (CNY)•

you both are very generous!! I would get them a heartfelt letter/card

1
lifeinlimboAug 3 2019 - Perth, Australia•

I'm from the UK so I completely get that you've paid all this for them! Also I might be too late to the party here too but anyways.......

My best friend got married earlier this year and did all of that too (except the hotel, we sorted that out ourselves). She did gift us all matching earrings and a small bottle of perfume on the morning of the wedding but it was in no way expected.

I would say that you've done more than enough already and none of your bridesmaids or groomsmen should expect anything anyway so feel free to put it in the fuck-it bucket! A card would be really lovely though :)

1