Taurus' Toxic Tower Tankings

Alright, It was kinda fun making these, but just a disclaimer dont take these things seriously and if ur offended please prove me wrong :) I realize I dont know a lot of u guys so feel free to shit on me for that. Also I'm not doing my own team because of bias and not sure where to rank them. Enjoy

13.) WCY Dinos

O - A$AP Caplord / Sadness

D - Gargantua / Mudkip

Okay so ngl I like this team and Caplord is my bud but I just have a lot of questions. The reason that this team will have a positive record will be because of Garg. He is a really solid defender but does have lapses in decision making but overall is a strong pick I like. However even tho Caplord says he got the 100 on nish, his real acocunt which he played 180 minutes on has the 38 nish (sorry bud). Knowing this I would've expected him to draft a proven offender to carry him but he picked Sadness. I dont know a lot about him but his stats dont jump out at me. I really hope he is good enough because if he is not this offense is going nowhere. Caplord couldn't get it done with my pal Grommit and I think Grommy is better than Sadness so thats a problem. Now for the defense mudkip isnt exactly a great defender. I remember getting best offensive performance last season and got 14 caps on mudkip in one week. Not a great sign. However he is paired with an experience veteran with Garg, so who knows Garg might be able to fix him up and they could work out, but unfortunately the offense will hold them back.

12.) The Nights Watch

O - Wassa / BallsToYou

D - Crowman / TurdFerguson

Okay, this team is actually solid I just am not as familiar with centra players as I would like to be. I do not think this team will be last in the standings, I just am not sure where to place them. So it looks like Crowman went for wassa early and somehow got him for 44 which is a steal btw. He should be good on offense with someone like BallsToYou who put up really solid stats on B team last season. Crowman is a good player but not an upper level A teamer yet so he will have to step it up a bit. I have no idea who TurdFerguson but if he plays as shitty as his name implies, this team is going to have some problems.

11.) Ballsagna

O - Ball-erina / Razgriz

D - Demman / LifeOfBrian

Not so sure about this team. I think right now they are lower just because risk of both partnerships working well. On defense demman is a solid player who put up great stats last season playing next to Elegant. However even tho they were both good on their own, they couldn't reach their full potential so maybe playing with a lower skilled partner could be more beneficial but Idk. One of these 2 players will have to be agressive and I'm not sure it will be LifeOfBrian. On the flip side the offense has the same questions. Ball-erina and Raz are both fringe A teamers who I think both need stronger more experienced partners to succeed. Ik Raz tends to get a little flaccidly and his o/d will be a problem that needs to be fixed. I think Ball-erina has a lot of talent but she needs to trust her own decisions more and know when to be aggressive and when to play safe. If they can figure out good chemistry this could be a good offense but the lack of experience is a concern.

10.) CircleJukers

O - Sir Cle / Coach G

D - Pavement / chaotiq

Another team that I think has a big upside but has a few concerns. I really like the pavement and chaotic pickups and were chaotiq lacks in comms league game sense, he makes up for in mechanics as he has the axe. I think pavement will be able to get the most of him and they will work well together. However on the offensive side there are problems. Sir Cle has bounced arround A and B team for a while and I'm not too impressed. He did well playing alongside Rammstein but its easy to look good playing along a top player. Coach G is decent but I'm hesitant with his play style matching with Sir Cle's. Sir Cle lacks the mechanics to be truly aggressive and Coach G seems to play pretty passively. He is a formers minors player and has good stats so they could be good. That being said I think with more scrims and built up chemistry they could be good but for right now I'm not sure.

9.) He Hate Re

O - Dusk / Flaccid Trip / T-swift

D - Laserpig / Gryfff

Another team full of cool people however I'm not sure exactly where to place them. Dusk and really either Flaccid Trip or T-swift would be a really solid offense. Dusk is legit with the axe and he put up solid stats last season and so did both Flaccid Trip and T-swift. The defense is led by laserpig who unfortunately got stuck around the 60% winrate and had to buy his axe. Nevertheless he is a very solid defender who plays smart. His partner however Gryfff is someone I do not have a lot of info on. Her stats are decent but dont really jump out at me. With a partner like laserpig they should be able to work together just nicely tho. Looking for a playoff spot for them if they can avoid unlucky splits with mediocre teams.

8.) Preventure Time

O - ball-e / Balled Eagle? / Oz god

D - Anze / Bongo

Alright so this team has a really good lead defender in Anze his is easily top minors talent right now but unfortunatly they do not have solid partner for him. Bongo is actually washed, Balled eagle is a fringe A teamer and i think Oz God only plays offense. They could move ball-e over but then there would be nobody leading the offense. This team has a lot of potential but until they get that second defensive spot figured out they could move up or down in these rankings tbh. They need to find someone better than Bongo and idk if they can.

7.) Pursit of Capiness

O - Popsic / ThePlaymaker / naga

D - BuisnessBird / Makin Bacon

This could be a good team but I think they might have to switch positions a bit. Popsic was a great pickup but for over 40 that feels awfuly close to an overspend. He does have the axe and seems to do better on defense. ThePlaymaker is only good because I taught him everything he knows and naga actually looked good in pubs. The defense looks about the same with BBird leading the way. I remember him shutting me down the first half of the S11 playoffs before he started playing like garbo and we reversed swept them, but for real him with Makin Bacon sounds like a good defense. Not too flashy but they will be able to contain and get resets. Solid team but could move up or down not entirely sure which way yet.

6.) Chicago Pubs

O - glob / Ping tut

D - Some Ballz / Buttsnake / Pseduo

This team might be a hidden nuperball team however I think there are a lot of concerns. First glob is a good o player even if he is the worst player to win a nuperball. He knows what to do and how to play smart and so does ping tut. They both have axes even tho one of them bought it smh. If ping tut actually doessnt ghost they could be great but that still leaves problems with the defense. Some Ballz is a player I like but at the same time he isnt reliable. He wasnt able to succeed when paired with Micaso last season so thats a problem. I remember holding against him a bit too easily which isnt great. Buttsnake looked washed in tryouts and with family responsibilites I cant expect him to show up a lot which leaves them with Pseudo who was benched for Karamat. If thats not sad idk what is. They all have the talent and if they could all show up they will be good, I just dont think it will happpen.

5.) Tampa Bay Aightping

O - Rammstein / Pele / Heinous

D - Heinous / Sass / Keekly

This is an interesting team tbh. Every single one of the these players has the talent level for minors however they are also possibly unreliable. Ram is a goof O player so thats that but his ability to practice and develop chemistry with his O partner could potentially be a problem in the playoffs. Lu hasnt played in a while and he was good in minors way back when so if he can return that will be a great o pair. Heinous is good on defense along with sass who went underrated for off the field reasons. They both are really good defenders and you even have keekly as your backup who probably has availability concerns. If everyone on this team can show up together this is a possible nuperball team, though availability their greatest challenge.

4.) Black Flag

O - Carp / Glide

D - Ranger / Porps

Honestly this team is really good but Idk them well enough for me to move them up. Carp put up really solid stats on offense and Glide is a minors player with all the skills he needs to do well. Ranger is a solid defender who has been around for a long time. I dont know anything about porps so this team could easily be ranked lower than where they are at now. Sorry centra players idk if ur good or not. I assume this team will be a playoff team as long as they all show up. Easily contenders if they are all on the same level.

3.) The Tagtime Theatre

O - FragrantFowl / Vader

D - Ess / Googy

Not sure what to think of this team tbh. Idk how Fowl got 100 tc but he definitely put it to good use. Drafting Vader was a great idea and it would’ve been considered an overpay if he didn’t have so many tc. Ess for close to 60 was also an overpay just based on his previous availability, he does have the axe without buying it so that’s a plus. Idk who googy is but he looks like a solid player and fowl is a bit raw but if he works on his game sense this could be a nuper team. Overall all of these players are solid I think it just might be about finding chemistry that works.

2.) Over the Pants Handoffs

O - Activ / N4

D - Nameless / H.D. / Galvatron

Alright so this team looks solid all around. Activ is a great pick however he did go for a bit on the steep side, but nameless but a good team around himself. N4 is a good player when he actually cares so there should be no trouble with the offense. The defense is centered around nameless and being conservative he drafted someone aggressive like usual. Though sometimes H.D. might be too aggressive as he puts up great stats, but his teams struggle. Now this might be a coincidence or he is just playing for stats and solos. His backup Galvatron is a really solid pub player who was able to read quite a few of my jukes but lacks the game sense needed to be a reliable starter right now. This team doesnt appear to have a solid weakness, something chemisty + experience should fix.

1.) The Land Before Timers

O - Fender / AK 47

D - Cognito / Linux / Darth

Ah yes. Fenders team again. Now I dont really remember who Fender is tbh but I think he is related to that western off brand of Taurus, Mcbooty? If he can figure out a way to not be McBuns in the nuperball, he could actually win it this time. Ak 47 has the axe and looks legit for this team however I've been warned of his availability concerns tho so that could be a problem. And cognito was a top defender the last time he played in season 10 but he is one of the few returning players that I think hasn't lost a step. Look for him to put up big stats again. Linux better hope to be a better player than his captainicy because if not this team is in trouble. I think Linux is actually pretty good on defense and with a player like Darth as the 5th ball it looks filled with talent. I think this team is one of the few that does not have a, obvious weakness, but we will have to see if they can make it through the playoffs.