r/askgaybros•8 yr. ago

The obsession with labeling straight males as gay🧐🤔

I’ve met some gays, even friends who are obsessed with labeling some guys as gay. Not all gays but some would literally say “he’s probably gay” just because a straight guy looks at them or talks to the them. Not only that but the ones I’ve met literally go out their way to find everything a straight male does or says to label it as gay. Is it ever that deep? Is it because they probably like them? Why the obsession?

Posted Aug 17, 2018, 9:50 PM UTC

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[deleted]•8 yr. ago

[deleted]

LAGA_1989•8 yr. ago

Sounds like ego. Thinking everyone must be into them.

Platinumdust05•8 yr. ago

They were bullied in school for being gay so now they think it’s physically impossible for a straight male to be nice to a gay male

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

Omg I feel so bad... I chuckled

imstrongintherealway•8 yr. ago

Oh I do the opposite. I assume all guys are straight unless they tell me otherwise

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

ME AF

Shards1991•8 yr. ago

I noticed this with how gay men refer to Shawn Mendes. It is rather narrow- minded and also probably some wishful thinking.

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

I still don’t get the hype with Shawn Mendes like just because he’s feminine wtf lmao. It’s disrespectful tbh if he was really gay and he was a regular person the lgbt community would be down everyone’s throats

karmaranovermydogma•8 yr. ago

Relevant article: Let Shawn Mendes Be Heterosexual in Peace: In the end, jokes about the musician's supposed queerness are just jokes on ourselves.

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

Nice article it’s exactly right but stan twitter jokes about everything no matter how offensive. I’ve seen them joke about Ariana’s Manchester concert bombing, nicki Minaj’s abortion, Selena Gomez’s Kidney. They don’t care they’ll joke about anything and everything unless it’s racism

[deleted]•8 yr. ago

it's ridiculous but what can you do?

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

Nothing. It just annoys me like respect people’s sexualities even if they are closed.

bottomlessgarbagecan•8 yr. ago

Funny how it's only the hot ones they decide are gay.

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

You didn’t have to snap so hard lmao

bottomlessgarbagecan•8 yr. ago

What?

_whatbot_•8 yr. ago

#You didn’t have to snap so hard lmao

^^bleep ^^bloop ^(I'm just a bot, don't hurt me!) ^^bleep ^^bloop

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

It’s slang. “Snap” is basically another word for “going off”, “came for someone’s neck”, etc

fartyfartanus•8 yr. ago

Sometimes gaydar is very accurate. Sometimes not so much. You'd be surprised how many people are deeply in the closet, and won't come out until they're 50 with a heterosexual marriage and kids.

No one should put too much weight into their assumptions nonetheless, especially when they're shallow enough to use labels. Unless your assumption is based on perceptiveness, which at this point I wouldn't even call it an assumption, but an observation.

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

Even if it is accurate it would still be disrespectful tbh

fartyfartanus•8 yr. ago

Disrespectful only if you are incorrect, and still insist. However, even if you are "incorrect" people can be in heavy denial. Judgments are a normal thing, and so are labels, but doing harm with judgments and labels is when it crosses the line of respect.

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

Even if people are in heavy denial it doesn’t excuse the person judging from being ignorant..... this isn’t a normal thing. What I’m talking about is the obsession to label them as gay. It’s indirectly forcing gay or bi onto straight males tbh.

fartyfartanus•8 yr. ago

Judgment is normal for those who aren't aware of themselves. It is harmful and hurtful to those who also aren't aware of themselves, sure, but objectively, it is a natural part of human nature. As such, judgment is only ignorant because its basis is ignorance (of self), and often is ignorant of what it considers, as judgment implies inability to be yourself (and therefore be ignorant/less accurate. It goes full circle). Labeling, outwardly labeling, etc, is a part of judgment in its infancy. Not everyone goes through this phase, but a lot do; finding common ground between common descriptors. It's a form of discrimination, but a less harmful form. Outward labeling is innocent, but harmful, much like outward judgment. I really don't see how it would indirectly force people to be labeled a certain way. Despite labels being shallow, they're often based on common features. Labels do not have the power to change other labels (although it may seem like it; this is an illusion).

minniedriverstits•8 yr. ago

Well, yeah. Gay guys are into dudes, so when faced with an attractive stranger, hope springs eternal. Also, sometimes they are gay, bi, or heteroflexible. That's why the medical term is Men Who Have Sex With Men, or MSM, rather than homosexual or gay. Does it annoy you as much when straight guys speculate and gossip about women, or vice versa? If so, congrats on being woke A-#1, otherwise, ignore it as harmless chatter.

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

Heteroflexible? So basically MSM but still identify as straight? Also the gossip doesn’t annoy me it’s the fact they are so hellbent on proving a person is gay sometimes.

shirtlifterdownunder•8 yr. ago

It just means 'mostly straight'.

[deleted]•8 yr. ago

Homophobia and when you do it to us bisexuals, biphobia. I don‘t care how much of an out and proud gay man you are, calling us gay in hopes to ruin us socially is shady as hell. You do it because women buy your misogyny and trust you about us and you aren‘t even attracted to women.

GayMoonlightOP•8 yr. ago

Can you please explain your thinking? Usually it’s not to “ruin” you guys socially but most of the time (when they gossip about it)that’s what ends up happening but that’s not their intentions and if there’s been guys that did this to you JUST to be shady then I’m sorry. Not tryna really argue here either but I’m pretty sure you can’t be misogynistic towards males unless they’re feminine and what does liking women have to do with the whole thing. So I don’t see how it’s really biphobia because even if they did do it to be shady it’s not shaming you for liking both or whatever type of bisexual you are. Not trying to argue really idk if your comment is a troll or just sounds bitter.