My (22F) boyfriend (23M) lost interest in me?
I apologize in advance if this isn’t very well written, my brain feels like mush right now. I’m also on mobile so if there’s any formatting issues I blame that!
Overall my boyfriend of 3 years and I feel we are great together and we talk about marriage and our future together regularly. Recently we have both been feeling as though we aren’t as close to each other as we used to be. He seems to have lost interest in me a bit.
When we hang out the only time we’re not on some sort of electronics (phone, laptop, gaming device or TV) is when we’re having sex. It’s frustrating and makes me sad because it feels as though I’m only being used for sex.
Our conversations never seem to have much meaning behind them so I’ve suggested talking about new subjects, or I’ll work them into our conversations, but he seems uninterested in discussing them for very long.
He mentioned today that he is feeling different recently about his life generally, and what he’s doing with his life. I don’t know how to help him, and also help our relationship. My primary focus is to regain that closeness we once had, but not have it feel too forced. I would appreciate any advice that comes my way!
TLDR; boyfriend and I are both feeling distant, we aren’t as close as we have been throughout the past 3 years. Advice?
Posted Aug 20, 2018, 7:33 AM UTC
I think this happens sometimes. A lot of people in their 20s find themselves feeling different than when they were teenagers and can worry about their futures (things like their career, etc.). Sometimes people grow up between the ages of 18-25 and when you’re in a relationship it can go two ways- you either grow together or end up growing apart.
I’d suggest trying to talk to him about things that might be worrying him, why he feels different about his life in general without focusing on the future of your relationship because that might have nothing to do with it. When you’ve had that conversation then suggest doing things together more even if it’s something as simple as going to a coffee shop or going for a walk around your town, he can’t look at his phone if you’re on a walk anyway so that gives you his attention to have a conversation about things.
Also sometimes people like to just sit after work/school next to someone but not talking. There are days where me and my fiancé only talk a little bit but we still feel like we’ve had a nice time because we’re together, and other days we’ll sit and won’t stop talking.
I hope this helps, kinda turned into a longer comment than I anticipated. But good luck with trying to get things out in the open, I really hope it works out for you.
Thanks for your guidance! This is kind of along the lines of what I was thinking but hearing it from someone else solidifies it!