I Looked For You

Two poems I recently reviewed:

Luna (haiku)

Confession

~ ~ ~

I looked for you
More or less

At first on the screen
With the images displayed
As if the smoke
Would suddenly fade
And your face would be
Superimposed
Over the broadcast
And above the smoke

Instead I rung
A line that was never,
Ever,
Answered,

And was only answered
After two years or three
Because I finally canceled
My bill to AT&T

And it was someone else
And I didn't say a word
I heard a hello once or twice
Before the dial tone was heard.

I looked for you afterwards
With any woman I could find
None of them gave enough
To get you off my mind.

Because if you're never identified,
You've never truly died.

​

Still,

​

I'm still in apartment 1108
If you decide to come home late...

Yes, your things are still here
Your sundries left alone
And if that toxic black smoke
Was your phantom coming home

You came at 10am sharp
And never came again
You left but a piece with me
And with me it's always been.

They said it made me ill
And sent me a doctor's bill

A tax for losing track of you
And for moving on, too.

​

But I swear I can see you
If I zoom in close enough
On floor 102

And what I saw was,

You're dying
Clinging to life
You're crying
And still my wife.

Because attorney stopped calling
And I unpacked everything
And I put back on my ring

But I hadn't the heart
To throw out anything
Especially not those papers
The "original" ending...

Maybe we were spared
By some unholy force
Because that was the night I planned
To ask you for divorce.

And in that sickening
Dramatic irony

After an entire year of planning
It was you who had left me.

I looked for you,
Sort of.

Because if I had looked half as hard for you
Before I watched my plan go wrong
I would have seen you in my heart
Where you had been hiding all along.