Impressions of WHAT ‽

I want to impress you.

You know, I'm pretty smart.

You know, this one time when I was waiting for the man

I fell under this spell of the city streets:

With alligators flagging down cabs and

a variety of birdly creatures casting

rays of light from their wings

——-

I vaguely remember a conversation with a distraught older woman

where I told her I was fighting the suburban plague

and she hugged me with tears.

Real tears.

As I rolled her a cigarette she

opened up about her suicide attempts.

She cut herself.

She tied a noose.

She had so much love.

She had children and a family and "The perfect life."

——-

But it felt like nothing.

——-

She cocked a gun even.

Wrapping her lips around it and begging for another way out.

The cold steal on her teeth

She said she wasn't afraid

—She was ashamed.

——-

That's how she came to be in front of me

telling me about her weakest moments,

as I stood waiting for the man.

Watching two legged alligators call Uber

and bird-ish birds doing bird things.

——-

My neck hurt and I felt sick.

Before she came I was contemplating having a puke,

vexed by my pity.

We smoked. She left. He came.

——-

So I walked into the bathroom of seven eleven

and pulled out my bic pen-

unfolded my shimmering tin

and forgot about her for a while.

——-

Forgot about my alligators and bird friends.

Forgot about my promise to myself.

Forgot about my friends and my family.

I wrapped my lips around this cold steel cylinder

pressing my teeth down

——-

and forgot to look for another way out.

——-

As my vision fermented and my ears permeated stillness

my body forgot to contemplate puking while

I had that sour taste in my mouth that feels like

——-

speaking to wellness

——-

And I finally knew I had to.

And I finally knew how to.

And I finally knew I could.

And finally I have.

I hope I've impressed you.

Although, I haven't quite impressed myself.

One day perhaps.

-Z

Have at it! Be as harsh as you’d like. Tear me apart if you must. I’m ready for the worst.

Should be formatted alright, if there aren’t a few stanzas each with a few lines that break the poem up in a way that makes some sense then there was a computing problem (its happened to me before) and please let me know so i can try to fix it.

Probably not grammatically superior or even mildly grammatically in sync with the status quo. Just an uppercase here and a comma there, as the jumbled words flow I guess. (Although i did have a go about fixing it up.) Hopefully it doesn’t affect the meaning. But maybe it does. Let me know.

Here are my Comments/Critiques:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9gfvf7/comment/e64c7i2?st=JM6AW56D&sh=9b82a8b2

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9gbgek/comment/e64p4iu?st=JM6BHWYP&sh=d2b834db