Where is my Moby-Dick?

Today I tried making oatmeal
for the first time
in the microwave
and it came out tasting like sawdust
and mediocrity. 

Yesterday I went to the beach
with a coffee
and a cigarette
and hoped dark waves would swallow up
this apathy. 

Honestly, Captain Ahab had nothing to complain about because 
he lost a leg but at least he could wake up and tell himself
"yes, I am looking for something and it is colossal and great"

and I bet he never pondered over novels from 167 years ago
or if the way he answered the lady at the grocery store was too mean
or the long silence between this moment
and the next.

[[1]] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9g9yb1/the_violinist/e62s1gt/) and [2]