anisocoria

i loved you before i saw you

but when i saw you i loved your eyes best.

i wanted to steal them for my children's eyes --

my eyes are black voids:

nakedly alien, abyssally hungry;

too wide open to claim innocence,

too wide open to bottomless pools of tears

ringed with dull mud that once was green.

and you, my beloved,

lingered on that unstable bank too long

and caught my gaze

and fell in love.

but if eyes are the windows to the soul,

then you, my beloved, are practically impenetrable!

your eyes were like jewels i coveted

amber eyes, mischievously slanted

enticingly warm to gaze into

i could find every hue in them

with two pinpricks of perfect black in the center.

but how much did you ever let in?

i wanted to take your eyes

i wanted you to let me in...

after we made love, in the dark

i imagined my colorless eyes engulfing yours

and the colors mixing like paint,

somehow becoming lighter --

in the morning, before your flight,

you held me as i cried myself to sleep.

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