[Rant] Manager upbraided me today for ADHD compensation strategy
Today I had a meeting with my manager's manager who, among other things, told me that people didn't think I "engaged" or "paid attention" during meetings because at pretty much every meeting I take notes.
Where I work we develop tablet devices and pen devices and the software to take notes on them, so I use the tools that we make to take notes during the meeting. I do this precisely so that I remain engaged, focused and don't spend the hour daydreaming. Last week someone caught me after a meeting to ask how I configure everything because I appeared to be so organized.
This manager knows that it is a compensation strategy for ADHD - I have no idea to respond. If I stop taking notes purely for "business theater" then I will probably stop engaging the material but if I continue taking notes then I'm appearing (at least to him) not to engage the meeting.
Anyone ever experienced something like this? Did you find a solution?
Posted Sep 24, 2018, 10:18 PM UTC
“Yes, I take notes in every meeting for posterity and as a sign of respect for the issues being discussed. Recording the important points we raise ensure that we have documented action items and accountability. I also record informational points for my own recall. I apologize that I wasn’t aware it came across as disrespectful, how would you prefer I document our meetings? There is so much value contributed that I would hate to miss anything”
Yeah it’s manipulative. It’s still right. It still works. Try reframing into how you’re helping the company and what is their alternative suggestion if they don’t like it
This all the way. It sounds like management is only complaining because somebody else complained to them. Meanwhile, you have hard evidence to prove that you're more engaged than any of those jokers. Don't be afraid to show your notes to management. It'll make you look studious and engaged while making the people who complained look bad.
You could even offer to send out a summary of your notes after meetings. I did this for a couple of meetings and still do when someone can't attend. Now no one bothers me about being on my computer during meetings, especially since I totally saved my manager's bacon by being able to give almost a word-for-word transcript from a meeting with a vendor.
It kind of backfires sometimes though because I often write in shorthand, doodle, and even snark in my personal notes. If I wasn't expecting to share, I end up having to clean them up before sending out my notes.
His accusation wasn't "disrespect" it was more akin to "disinterest". He said that people at meetings felt that I wasn't participating or engaged or paying attention because instead of holding eye contact with everyone the entire meeting, I would frequently look down at the device and make a note about what was said, I question I had about something that was said or a decision made.
Please note one thing: he gave you multiple reasons and instructions. This means you can pick which ones to go forward with. Choose to go along with this part of what be said: to keep eyes at people, not at the screen. If you want, ask for/buy yourself a basic Bluetooth keyboard that works with your phone. Keep said phone in your pocket as you type. All you'll be doing is tappning away at a keyboard in front of you, and you won't feel as "hidden" to the others. If your boss asks again, you can counter that you've already made an improvemeny on his main message from last time, to keep your eyes at people, not your screen.