Life with out a dad. (First time poster)

How’s life with out a dad?

Are you perpetually sad?

They would ask while telling me it’s not so bad.

What you’re feeling is just a fad.

Don’t be mad.

​

It’s weird when you get this kind of pity.

All it does is make me feel shitty.

But, growing up alone.

My Mom working away from home.

You feel a certain loneliness that hits the bone.

You wonder why it’s you that’s home alone.

Feeling nothing like Macaulay Culkin

As I see a smiling family carve a pumpkin.

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Still air in the the living room.

A looming sense of living doom.

A single tear sheds down my eye.

The door opens bright It’s a butterfly.

My mother.

Before she even enters, I beg for a little brother.

She finds hard to explain, that she has no other lover.

​

Sobbing in my bed

Til my eyes turn red

I start to fantasize what it would like to have a father.

But as I stare in the dark, I wonder why I even bother.

That I swear to myself If I ever have a Child.

The only thing I’ll ever leave him with is knowing that he has smiled.

​

Time goes by I get older.

With every failing attempt try to be bolder.

My mom says if it helps you can lean my shoulder.

But there’s a lump in my throat the size of boulder.

As I try my best to be manly and colder.

My mom moves out, like I sold her.

​

No choice to be a man.

Even with no game plan.

Work at a restaurant.

Not the life I want.

Bitter and resentful.

Living a life uneventful.

​

I reach for the ethanol bottle.

Then, I try to reach the end full-throttle.

But they say misery loves company.

Meeting new mates it feels so bubbly.

Through a merry cast of misfits.

Life’s not so bad I admits.

I slowly change my existential tune.

Before it’s all too late too soon.

​

There's a girl

She has my belly in a swirl.

She’s a precious pearl

I want to unfurl.

I think of a future.

she has my heart in a suture.

​

Things don’t like so dim

As life is no longer grim.

I ponder a life

Where she could be my wife.

Then I think.

​

How’s life with out a dad?

It’s varies from being mad to very sad.

But you cherish things that make you glad.

That you shouldn’t hope for a past you never had.

That you realize what you can possibly add.

That maybe one day you can be the better dad…

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Link 1

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8wdjda/never_fall_in_love_with_a_poet/e7f3kf6

Link 2

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9miv9h/art/e7f6zsg

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