[M4F] [First Debut] Cyberfuck 2069 or World of Cumcraft: Ride of the Whore Queen?
Select a sex: Male or Female
Immediately, Jenna prodded the floating button labeled ‘Female’, causing both buttons to vanish. A blank white mannequin vaguely shaped in the form of a woman materialized before her. She entered in her full name, age and even selected one out of five origin stories before moving onto the next stage of character creation: Face and Head.
Scanning down the Face shape, eye color, hairstyle, hair color. An entire swathe of sliders allowed her to alter any aspect she wished. Jenna played with several of them for a couple minutes, giving herself palm-sized ears, dog noses, enormous eyes like her grandmother’s old Instagram stories before hitting the bottom button that said ‘Import Realistic Face’. Within moments, she was staring at her own reflection smiling mildly back at her.
Several noticeable differences remained however. For starters, her avatar’s face wore a pristine layer of makeup applied, hiding all manners of unwanted wrinkles, blemishes, pores and more. There wasn’t even that hint of peach fuzz she struggled so much to get rid of in the mornings. Perfect hair and perfect teeth. All the hairdos she scrolled through were perfectly created even if they didn’t frame her face in the most flattering manner possible. Many of them weren’t even possible in the real world due to things like gravity and not having 6 cans of hair spray. Once she picked a hairstyle she liked, she moved on to the next part: Body.
So… when did asking for ‘Areola Color’ become a norm? ‘Breast Size’ had a dropdown menu descending from H cup to A instead of ascending from A to H, with the default size being DD? The game even suggested several preset bodies fit only for models, pornstars, bimbos and even ‘Just Graduated High School’. Immediately, Jenna backtracked all the way to the beginning of character creation, hit ‘Male’ and skipped immediately to the ‘Body’ section. Immediately, the first setting that caught her eye was ‘Penis Length’, with the default length being set at 9 inches.
“Oh well that’s fucking great Blizzard, thanks for not making me feel like a sexual object. Cause everyone on the internet sports DD’s and 9 inch dicks thicker than Coke cans. Fucking bravo. Nice realism you got going there you fuckwads.” Jenna shouted at the empty void, flashing two thumps up at the white infinite sky before clapping sarcastically.
After a great deal of huffing and puffing, Jenna cooled down and gave it a bit of thought. Certainly, those settings were a bit oversexualized. But everyone knew this was a game. And no one played games just to get bogged down in reality. Of course, they wanted to play a smarter, stronger, better looking version of themselves. And really, who are these people hurting by playing out these fantasies? Starting to feel a bit guilty, Jenna recreated her character, scanned her own body and altered it just a bit to feel a bit more self-confident before hitting the button labeled ‘Start Game’. I mean, if everyone’s gonna make themselves look good, I might as well do the same, right?
After materializing in the spawn location, which was a group of tents beside a river, Jenna glanced at the UI. Level 1. 0/100 EXP to Level 2. She had a small backpack, the clothes on her back, 3 minor health and stamina potions and 100 gold pieces. Not even a dagger or a wooden club for combat. Even though there’d likely be beginner quests she could do without a weapon, it didn’t feel great.
She started walking on the main road toward the nearest large town. She hadn’t been walking for 20 minutes before she spotted a forlorn looking farmhand leaning against a white picket fence. Over the young man’s head was a large glowing neon green exclamation mark. Noticing her approach, the farmhand even called out to her, “Ey Missus, could you help a fellow out?” A quest giver! Let’s get started!
She stopped beside farmhand. “Sure. What do you need?”
“Thanks for listening to a poor fellow. See, I was doing my morning errands, but when I went to go feed my cocks, they all ran out cause and jumped the fence into the field. And now,” He gestured at his bandaged shin, looking at Jenna pitifully. “I can’t catch them. But I need them back so I can soup for mah mamaw. Can you help? I don’t have much, but I could spare you 50 gold coins.”
Catching 3 chickens equates to 50 gold coins… sure… righhhhhhht.” “Okay, I’ll do it.” A satisfying ding rang out once those words left her mouth, starling her pleasantly. Additionally, the farmhand beamed at her, making her blush at just how quickly his expression changed. On the bottom right, a notification appeared saying: Chickens caught – 0/3. “So, do you just want me to bring the chickens to you or back to the coop?”
“Oh yes! Right over there.” He pointed at a structure not 10 meters away.
“… that’s the chicken coop.”
“Yes, it is ma’am.”
“The 10 cubic foot enclosure. Your chickens live. In that.” Jenna pointed at the coop, then at the outhouse shed, which was perhaps half its size, raising her eyebrows at the young man.
The farmhand shrugged. “I got a lot of chickens.”
Jenna glanced at the notification sitting on the bottom right. “Un huh. Right.”
“Ma’am, mah mamaw’s awfully hungry. I’d appreciate it if you could hurry.” He pouted.
Perhaps this is just one of those moments where you have to willingly suspend disbelief to get the full experience… I mean, I’m not gonna have any fun if I keep nit-picking things; otherwise I’m just going to turn into my brother complaining about Game of Thrones season 7 all day long. “Wah, Jon Snow plot armor too thick. Gendry ran a week-long trek in a day, blah, blah, blah. Jenna sighed, “Okay, just point me in the direction of your chickens.”
The farmhand pointed north. “Field’s up thataway. Good luck!”
She headed off in the direction, clambered over the fence and walked for several minutes until she saw them.
Either the farm was brain damaged or this was a prank. For starters, the only chicken thing about those ‘cocks’ was the fact that it was three men wearing white chicken head latex masks. Besides that, they were completely butt-naked from the neck down, their actual flaccid cocks dangling from their groins. Upon right-clicking them, Jenna read: ‘Farmer Ben’s Cocks – Level 2’.
What the fuck is this game? Gritting her teeth, Jenna rushed towards them, causing all three to panic and scatter, bawk-bawking like actual hens all the while. Focusing on one, she drew herself up into a sprint and after a brief chase tackled the ‘cock’ onto the ground, wrestling with it for 20 seconds before it kicked her off and ran away, clucking in terror as she panted for breath. Another notification popped up in the bottom right.
Tip: Blow the cocks to weaken them so they can be taken back to the coop!
…what?
Never actually played WoW. Some creative liberties taken. Let’s talk before starting to play.
Posted Oct 16, 2018, 5:38 AM UTC