Always Look Out for Number Two

I still recall, not long ago,
The frailty, fear, and pain -
The fetid flow, the sight below:
The stink, the stench, the strain.
 

The massive mounds of fecal mass -
The throes, the throbs, the shit;
The pains and pangs within my ass
At every emptied bit.
 

I still recall the damage done -
My anus lit aflame -
But now I stick to number one,
‘Cause shittin’s not the same.

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