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I want to silently raise my hand

watch the blood rolling off my fingers dissipate into the air

I want to breathe out smoke

Not from a cigarette but the thick kind that chokes you and

stings your eyes I want to

cry

let the river in my soul empty until

I am clean again

I want to go back to when my stomach had butterflies

not knives that slice me open back to when

my vision was clear and the real world

was all i could hear none of the

whispers

that I hear now

i want to blend in with the stars my eyes

twinkling in the night sky

​

I want to feel real again

​

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