i probably shouldn't be with you

A heartbeat is like a never-ending stampede of buffalo,
hooves crushing sandstone into the ground,
fur knotted, necks coated with a thick film of sweat;
they run faster when there’s danger.

Sometimes I hate looking at you because your eyes
are unknown minerals,
impossible to grasp,
set perfectly in the museum of your face
behind oversized, dark frames.
I wish I wasn’t above burglary.

My buffalo are tired and they’re running straight from the burning coals of hell
into your arms and I can’t seem to figure out
if they’re tearing their hair out with their teeth
or getting a cool drink of water.

I’m struggling to accept that the marble of your skin
might have red veins of granite next time I hold you;
but I’ve never actually gotten the chance to hold you
so I call myself a failure and try to shoot my ghosts
in the head.

I’ve been thinking about you during long car rides,
the roadkill and the pines sliding from my rearview mirror
into the horizon.
I hope you think about me sometimes.

I wonder if I’ll kiss you,
our lips soaked with each other,
we’re dripping like peach juice down the maroon walls
of the passion we’ve created,
Will you feel anything with my fingers on your waist?

I’m loading up a shotgun,
shells copper and iron and plastic,
staring at my herd.

I can’t help but question
if the saying “kill your darlings”
rings true,
so I’m pacing, pondering, folding into myself,
asking the world to send a sign
because I’m awfully lost and could really use
a “get out of my own fucking head” card.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9qkq38/house_inspection_haiku/e8al67k/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9qo7yq/roses_haiku/e8al0hg/