9 years and counting today

1 2

​

I've left many things unsaid, too many things.

First I'd like to say I'm delusional.

I'm a genius. I can succeed any time I want. If I think hard enough it's possible.

These thoughts were compounded by the lack of effort needed for daily things

past achievements that have no substance

understanding the processes of things I do not know.

​

Today I've said some of these things, not enough things.

Not by delusions of how to exclaim the right way, the best way.

In fact I couldn't even say it; took an easy way out.

Still, one was conveyed without its intensity.

The things left unsaid to the pillar in my memories;

my inspiration, [only] motivation, ideal

and the one thing not a delusion

or at least the hope it is not

leads us to what we live for.

​

Is it wrong to accept rejection and refuse to accept?

Is it any worse than leaving things unsaid?

Which is the bigger betrayal?

It is not through delusion I linger

nor is it hope

It is my only link to feeling

A gouging faulted only to myself.