The Wait

He had bid me wait

But a mere moment.

Now I stood obediently,

Gaze fixed on the horizon,

Where his figure had disappeared,

Into the realm beyond sight.

I trusted he'd return any minute,

Though the sun ran its course

Many times, over my aching head.

Sometimes I thought I espied him,

In those long long years,

Right there,

At the point of my unwavering gaze.

But it was only a mirage,

Wrought of my imagination, Born of desperation.

Why not wait but a mere moment?

I kept telling myself,

As centuries passed me by.

Though now it was something else,

That pinned me fast to my place.

To leave?! To betray him?!

What would become of his sacred purpose?

No, I would not leave,

For he had bid me stay,

And his will I would not deny.

The terrain changed about me,

Leaving only I unmoving,

And I realised I'd turned to stone.

Why had he left?

He never said.

What purpose

Had condemned me thus?

All the speculations

Had died and faded,

Over the aeons.

Sometimes I still thought back,

Struggled vainly to recall,

Who had he been?

Had I known him well?

Was it love of him,

His greatness and destiny,

Which bound me here still?

Or perhaps a passing stranger,

An unknown quantity?

I hoped he had at least smiled at me.

Or else, gazed earnestly and long,

His fealty to fate overflowing into me.

I prayed it had not been a sneer,

Disdain and a muttered command,

Over before I could tell,

Whether it had even been meant.

Seldom did I allow myself,

To confront the deeps:

Who had I been?

Before the wait.

I knew without searching,

That I would not find.

Vast histories now lay in my way,

Between my past and I,

Filled only with the wait.

I could remember

Only that moment.

Not him, nor me.

Just the creation

Of that obligation.

It had been thrust upon me,

Though I may well have accepted it,

Brought into being by his summons,

Though not of his doing either.

For he and his will had ended,

Passed into other forms

A thousand times over,

While it grew only stronger.

It was no longer him,

I dared not betray,

But the endless wait itself.

What did it all matter?

I had earned my title,

Found my place.

Look, see:

They've engraved my name by my feet:

The Wait.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9s1h1a/going_through_a_lot_lately_this_came_from_my_soul/?utm_source=reddit-android

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9s159u/anxious_l_elliott/e8lcerv?utm_source=reddit-android

For proper formatting, ie stanza breaks: https://www.reddit.com/user/MendyZibulnik/comments/9s1lif/the_wait_with_formatting/?utm_source=reddit-android

The first two stanzas came to me as I was trying to fall asleep once, had to get up and write it all down before I lost it.