I can't really get behind the archaic syntax here, especially as a modern event. I do appreciate the emotion of this piece though, and the memorial is truly something.
the thing I think is hard about archaic syntax like this is that most people today aren't really reading and writing like that anymore, and to make it work you either have to go full John Donne or be able to really weave it with modern language in an intentional and artful way. It's just a matter of practice and reading more things that are this style.
I can't really get behind the archaic syntax here, especially as a modern event. I do appreciate the emotion of this piece though, and the memorial is truly something.
the thing I think is hard about archaic syntax like this is that most people today aren't really reading and writing like that anymore, and to make it work you either have to go full John Donne or be able to really weave it with modern language in an intentional and artful way. It's just a matter of practice and reading more things that are this style.