Source
r/childfree•
mutalias

Just got my vasectomy done

PERSONAL

Sitting here with an ice pack on my crotch and some painkillers buzzing at the back of my mind, and just feeling very relieved. There's something to be said about closing that chapter entirely, even when I've been sure for a very long time.

I recently got engaged to a wonderful woman whom I've been friends with for half my life. Having known each other for 18 years, and both of us having been vocally child free for all that time, it felt like the right time to finally have the surgery. While I knew I didn't want kids, I was always on the fence about whether or not it would be a complete deal breaker if I found someone who did. It feels great to know I won't have to make that choice.

Over the last couple of weeks I've had to endure a lot of prodding from pretty much anyone who knew besides my fiancee which, even though it hasn't made me doubt my choice, has been uncomfortable for a bunch of other reasons. At 35 years old, it's been a real ride being constantly questioned about whether or not I'm sure of what I'm doing. I wonder what age, precisely, it is that people just accept that you do know what you want. "What if you change your mind," and so on, and all the other questions that conspicuously vanish when someone says that they are expecting. Even the doctor was perplexed by my being so sure I didn't want kids, although he stayed very professional and performed the procedure without pressing the subject.

In the end my family and friends were supportive, though, and my father even took time out of his day to drive me to and from the clinic, which I'm grateful for considering how sore I'm feeling. My fiancee is obviously supportive, and both she and I are happy that the responsibility for birth control isn't resting entirely on her. It's been the right choice for a long time now, and it feels like a relief to be able to just make it once and for all, and never have to worry about it again.

Posted Nov 12, 2018, 11:18 AM UTC

6426
ddhriderMarried, clipped, uncle x12, cat dad x4, horse dad x1•

Welcome to the club, brother. Keep icing. Follow all the instructions you were given to the letter. You’ll be great.

10
mutaliasOP•

Thanks! Yeah, I got a pamphlet at the clinic with lots of helpful advice. The icepacks are definitely a boon, and thankfully I live in a country where you get sick pay for this procedure, so I get to stay on the couch for a couple days. The cost and discomfort of a vasectomy isn't even a drop in the sea compared to having a kid.

6
HotCheetosHoe•

From what I’ve been hearing, as you get older the “what if you change your mind?” questions turn into “don’t you regret it?”. Super rude nonetheless but I imagine answering with “No! I am super happy with my choice” is more satisfying to answer than “I am sure I will be happy with my choice”.
Congrats though!!! It’s nuts to me that people think even 35 is too young. 35 isn’t old by any stretch of the imagination...but your 30s are definitely the time where who you are and what you wanna do settles in permanently y’know?

6
mutaliasOP•

For real. Some of the people questioning it were actually younger than me, so it was pretty bizarre.

Like you said though, saying you're happy with something you did is a lot different from saying you're going to be happy with something you're about to do.

3
Psychonaut_funtime•

I can totally relate. I'm 35 and got my vasectomy 2 1/2 weeks ago. My GF, parents and a handful of people were understanding and supportive but a lot of people asked awkward questions and a few even tried to talk me out of it.

4
mutaliasOP•

Yeah I got some of that, and I also got some of people trying to talk me into freezing some sperm because I might change my mind.

How long was it sore afterward for you? My doctor said 3-4 days, but I've heard anything from 2-10 from other people.

3
Psychonaut_funtime•

It was: lay on the couch a do almost nothing the first 2 days. (Shoutout to my awesome girlfriend and my best friend for helping). Then light movement for like 3 days. Then I went to a music festival for a week. The first couple days I got a little tenderness but I was all good by day 3. Over not that bad and about 8 days to fully recover.

1
mutaliasOP•

Yeah I'm definitely on the doing almost nothing phase. The itching's actually worse than the aching at this point.

1
TurbulentCherry•

Congrats ^^

3
mutaliasOP•

Thanks!

2
TheReaperSovereign27M - Sterile 8/3/18 •

Grats bro👊

3
mutaliasOP•

Thanks! 👊

2
Beckenize•

Where are you from ? and the doctors were supportive all the time ? or they put some barriers at first ? Here in argentina is kinda difficult to get one even if theres a law that says if should be free for all...

3
mutaliasOP•

I'm Norwegian. You have to be 25 to get a vasectomy here, and you can't be be severely mentally challenged or otherwise incapable of self determination. Other than that there aren't any legal barriers that I'm aware of.

The system here assigns you a Regular GP (RGP) that you generally go to for anything except emergencies. My RGP doctor was very supportive about it, and is an all around great guy. I've been seeing him for something like twenty five years, so he knows me pretty well. He referred me to a urologist, who performed the vasectomy.

I only pay a small deductible to see my RGP, but I had to pay for the vasectomy myself. It's possible to get a vasectomy through the public system as well, but the wait times are extremely long because it isn't considered necessary surgery, and so it isn't prioritized.

1
silverflameshibe•

I am on the 4th day right now after my operation... mine currently feel like somebody used my nut sack as a boxing bag! Good luck and Congrats.

2
mutaliasOP•

Yeah it's pretty sore here, too. Ice packs are the shit, though, so if you haven't picked one up then improvise one.

1
silverflameshibe•

I tried, didn't really do anything other than make me cold.

2
mutaliasOP•

That sucks, man. At least you're far enough in that it should be over soon.

1
Omegawolf8334/M/ I Love being Childfree•

I have some questions if you don’t mind me asking... how long did the procedure take?

How much does it cost?

2
mutaliasOP•

It took around three weeks between asking my doctor about it and getting scheduled for the procedure. The procedure itself took around half an hour. It cost me roughly the equivalent of 650 USD.

2
IhopTheBaker•

What's the recovery time look like for one? I'm considering getting it done this summer but don't know if I'll have the time.

2
mutaliasOP•

My doctor said 3-4 days, and my brother (who is also a doctor) said the same. I've heard anywhere from 2-10 from others I know or have heard about who've had the procedure done.

It's not super painful, though. Just sore and very uncomfortable to move.

2
IhopTheBaker•

Thanks, that doesn't sound so bad. Is sitting up in an office chair a no go?

2
mutaliasOP•

As long as you can spread your legs a bit I think it should be fine. That goes for sleeping too. I took a nap after the operation, and a pillow between the legs is your friend if you like to sleep on your side.

I wouldn't go to work today. You can't shower for 24 hours, and it takes an hour or so for the bleeding to stop. I've still got a bunch of that brown disinfectant stuff that doctors use on my skin. I'll probably go back to work as soon as I can clean up and comfortably wear pants. Right now I'm in slacks but I can't go into the office dressed like that.

2
Cedoni•

I think the age thing might be different for men and women. Right or wrong women have menopause whereas there are all those stories of men leaving there older wife and kids and having new kids with younger woman.

I don't agree with it but there are many infamous examples.

Well done BTW and hope pain recedes soon

2
mutaliasOP•

That's probably true. Seems to me society places more reproductive responsibility on women than men in general, so that's likely also a factor.

And thanks, so do I!

1