Am I [24F] doing something wrong? My boyfriend [28M] doesn't want to have sex.

Hi Reddit,

I made a throwaway as my friends and my boyfriend know of that account. I wanted some advice on this, because it's been driving me crazy for almost 6 months now.

To give context: I have an extremely high sex drive. I always have. It has been challenging for me in the past to be comfortable with my needs, and vocalizing that to my partner. It's always been kind of tricky, but when I started dating someone new over the summer, and I figured all of that would change.

"Seth" and I were obsessed with each other when we first started hanging out. It was like magic. We could talk about nothing for hours, and it really didn't get sexual until about six weeks of us seeing each other. All I knew is that he enjoyed my company and I enjoyed his, and that was all that mattered.

We're both incredibly attracted to one another (which I'll get back to in a moment), even though we're very different.

He is more of the strong, aggressive, motivated, driven, traditional "tuff guy", while I'm very sweet and mild-mannered. I'm very gentle all around, which is why I think this has become a bigger problem over time.

Since the first time we had sex (which was very enjoyable no doubt), we've only slept together 4 other times in this six month period. Now a lot has been going on. We both work full-time, and on top of that, Seth does a lot of things with his friends and has other personal interests.

We talk fairly often, but I feel that I've lost more and more of his undivided attention overtime, especially when it comes to sex.

I'm currently working on his Christmas gift, and the thought occurred to me that I may have not been as clear as possible when it comes to my needs.

I have spoken to him many times about needing attention and affection, even though those are not things he's willing to give freely to me. He tells me that I have to push for emotional talk and the status of our relationship, because he feels that he's "bad" at dealing with things like that. While that is understandable, I feel that emotional expression is vital to a relationship. He hasn't really tried to change or open up that much since we started dating. He blames his lack of experience and his stubbornness for that, but I struggle to believe it ends there.

As for sex, he likes to deny me. He enjoys it. It was cute in the beginning, but now I'm practically desperate for anything that he'll offer. I want to please him and feel pleasure from him, but it appears to be something he's not overtly interested in unless he wants to do it. He will only do what he wants whenever he wants, and sex has been added to that list.

I'm unsure.

We have wonderful deep, insightful time together and I don't want to throw all of that away if this can be fixed.

I would feel silly leaving someone over sex, but I also can't handle being treated like I'm being punished for something.

Any advice is welcomed.

TLDR: My boyfriend says he's 'too busy' and won't have sex with me when I initiate. I don't know what to do.