I have control issues, and want to fix this.

So, in the last couple weeks, i've come to terms with realizing and dealing with control issues. A little background on me, joined the military outta high school. Came up the ranks quickly. With that i gained power and responsibility. Got out, of active duty went reserves, worked in jobs that were primarily individual tasks and time managment oriented. Im the lead guy on my crew at my current job, and have to do alot of coaching and guide less experienced people through tasks and problems nightly.

This is starting to get to me. But im ready to be an adult and wanna deal with this. I get slightly demanding and controlling since to this point, i've always been delegated to lead. It does come into play with my family life and thats the part im hating. I cant flip the switch off when im at home. I like my dishes done a certain way, my laundry done a certain way, im finding myself mentally judging my wifes actions and how she spends her free time. Im the bread winner and work alot more so i know that's a trigger for me. Im to serious and have some trouble playing with my kids cause my imagination and playfulness are shot.

Any tips or exercises or techniques to help with this?