Comfy, conservative used luxury sedan for <$10K CDN?

As the title says, I'm looking for a comfy, conservative used luxury sedan for less than $10,000 Canadian. I'm pretty much a pensioner in a young person's body, so I want a car that will ride nice, not be loud, and be easy to drive. I'd like it to be a fairly reliable car, but I'll settle for easily and cheaply repairable instead. Fuel economy isn't too important as long as it does better than the SUV I currently own, which gets 16 MPG regardless of how and where it's driven.

Turn-offs include:

• Anything German. I don't want the reliability risks of owning a used German car.
• Anything Chrysler. Never again.
• Anything that is going to draw attention to me. I live in a small town, and I don't want people wondering about how I could afford a ___________.
• Ford's "Panther" cars (Crown Vic, Grand Marquis, Town Car). They're cool, but I've owned them before and I'd like to try something different.

Features I'd like to have- yes, I realize this is asking a lot for $10K:

• Reasonably-sized wheels. Big wheels are uncomfortable, noisy, and tires cost a fortune.
• Built-in USB port for playing music. Or, if that isn't possible, that an aftermarket deck can be swapped in.
• Ventilated seats. Mr. Regular's description of them as 5-star defence against swamp ass really resonated with me.
• Telescoping steering wheel.

On the list so far:

• Acura RL, 2009+
• Acura TL, 2009+
• Buick Lacrosse, 2010+
• Buick Lucerne, all years
• Infiniti M, 2008+
• Lincoln MKS, all years
• Lincoln MKZ, all years

I'm looking to buy in the next month or so.

Any suggestions? Anything I'm missing?

edited for formatting.