Woolie's story Has brought about the rage of the past

Woolie's story of bullshit with that Microplay contest. I have a rule now to not play local tournaments in my town. Let me take you back . . .

The year is 2018, America is on fire and Bongo Cat was overshadowed by Bowsette. I'm a plucky young college student living in an expensive college town. My local Bookman's is having a Smash tournament. It's been a while since I've played Smash, but I used to play it a lot with my friends before I moved. I remember liking Little Mac because I like characters who only punch. Now, knowing that I've had some downtime between playing this game for fun, I enter the intermediate bracket. I'm not gonna school some little kids, but I'm also not confident enough to fight the people who play a lot of this. Now, I was under the impression that I wouldn't have a lot of competition. The prizes were trash and it's not like anyone is gonna take this seriously. BOI was I wrong! Suddenly, a bunch of people who I could only assume were from local anime club came in. And I'm not talking like 4 people. They were a posse, and literal Wu Tang Clan of Smash players. But I was naive. They would obviously go for the highest bracket, they want a challenge. No, they wanted blood, and mine was pretty enticing. Now I'm nervous. Kirby or Mac? Pitt? God, the knot in my gut was turning into a suplex of anxiety. But still, I can do this, I can make it one round. I sit down to my opponent. I pick Mac. He picks Rosalina. My fate was sealed. Now, I still had a sliver of hope that maybe he's as rusty as me. Wrong, he's a legit play, and I've been conned. Mac never touched the ground, I was thrown to and through on Battlefield. Sure I got a couple of hits in, but it was grab after grab after grab. He knew what I was about. He knew I couldn't cut it. Behind us, his posse gave a chipper play by play of my humiliation. Finally, my last stock was wasted, an unlucky uppercut ended by virtual punch Boi. My opponent gave me a look, like I wasn't even worth it. I had been cheated of even a minor victory, by people who play this game to notch grave stones in thier moe cemetery, and my corpse was the next in the pile. I slunk away, feeling awful and wronged. I'm not the best at video games, but I know when someone is lying. Intermediate? No, he was a pro.