Really being drawn to a bar right now. It feels like a magnet.

Having a tough day. My SO said some mean-ish things to me... let’s call them criticisms.

The cutting part is that they are personal criticisms regarding my intentions and my motivations for my art and my work.

She thinks that I create what I create and do what I do for “validation”. Part of that is true, I do want people to see my ideas and understand me in a more meaningful way but it feels unfair to be judged for that. I’m not trying to be rich and famous from my art, I just want to be respected and taken seriously.

I’m frustrated. I feel like I am unable to communicate with the world around me. I feel misunderstood. I feel like I am not taken seriously.

Anyways, it feels like one of those nights where I’d sit at a shitty bar all alone and have 6 shots and 6 beers to numb my sadness.

I’m going to go to a movie because it’s another form of escapism but damn do I really want to be in the company of misery right now.