Avoided the Avon monster just to be preyed upon by Primerica...at Dollar Tree.

I’m in my third and final year of law school, and this is the only year I haven’t had to block a hun’s number in my phone. (Then again, I don’t graduate until May, so we’ll see)

1L year- 2016- my own aunt gets a call from her former landlady. My aunt had lived in this woman’s basement apartment, and then they parted ways on less-than-good terms because the landlady a) refused to fix regular plumbing leaks in the basement and b) seemed to think my aunt was sleeping with landlady’s husband. Yet, 2 years after moving out, landlady calls my aunt and wants to invite her to a party and catch up! Sure enough, it’s an Avon party. My well-intentioned aunt sees it as an opportunity to mend fences, so she goes along with it, then I get invited to a “makeup class.” I’m a makeup enthusiast, so I go. Turns out landlady now wants me to sell Avon. “You’re so good at makeup, you’d be great! Your friends would love learning from you and selling with you.” She even preys upon the fact that I’m going to law school to work with domestic violence survivors (I am one myself) and talks about how Avon has a foundation to support domestic violence survivors.

At this point, I didn’t even know about MLMs, how they worked, or how predatory they are. I just didn’t want to get involved with makeup that wasn’t cruelty free, and I’m pretty shy.

Hun thinks she’s got me: “Well, we were one of the first brands to stop testing on animals.”

I respond “well, you sell in mainland China, where products are legally required to be tested on animals before being sold, so no, you’re not cruelty-free.”

She then gives my aunt and me makeup to test on a one-time use card, along with a brush, which she MAKES MY AUNT GIVE BACK after (I was lucky enough to keep mine because it was a “free gift” for being a “special guest”). I see her wipe it with a baby wipe and put it back in her kit. Gag. Yeah, it was a cheek and not an eye brush, but still. Gross. She seemed pretty clean and neurotic about her kid’s stuff, though, so I’m gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she sanitized it later.

I wish I could say I avoided it completely, but I actually said I was going to host a party, and she sent texts to four of my closest friends. I later told her I got sick and needed to study for finals, canceled it, and blocked her number. It was really just my social anxiety that kept me from doing it, but now that I know what I do about MLMs, I’m glad I didn’t. She kept emailing me, though, so I had to block that too. I felt badly. My aunt said this was basically the only kind of social interaction the hun ever had with other women.

Then came 2L year, last year. I walk into a dollar tree to buy toothpaste and off-brand Advil and hold the door for the woman behind me. Somehow that was enough for her to stop me while comparing the ounces of Colgate versus Crest and say “you know, most people don’t hold the door open for people like you did. You’re really nice. Let me guess, you’re not from around here?” (We’re in the Northeast.)

I’m flustered. “No, I’m from around here. Just think it’s the nice thing to do. It’s nothing, really.”

She then asks me what I do for work. I tell I do retail part time and I’m a full time law student.

“With people skills like yours, you’d be great for the company I work for. Here, take my card, and give me your phone number. I’ll send you a text later with all the info.”

I take the card and see it’s Primerica. My brother got roped with them at only 18 and to this day, 10 years later, numerous people won’t speak to him. Again, at this point, I don’t know it’s an MLM, but I know it’s a scam. I nervously give her my number, too stupid and anxious to say no, fully planning on deleting and blocking it later. Sure enough, that’s exactly what I had to do.

Also- this was during finals, and I’d gotten myself out of my book-cave for 15 minutes to go down the street to take care of a headache and buy ibuprofen. I’d neither showered nor brushed neither my hair nor teeth. I was also in a FUCKING DOLLAR TREE. yeah, I’m exactly who you want to be a financial advisor.