Welcome to my MIL

So this got longer than I expected. This is the first time I’ve posted about my MIL other than in comments. We live thousands of miles away from her so she’s waaaaaaay more tolerable now than she used to be. Tl;dr at bottom.

I wanted to share a recent interaction with my MIL. It’s completely BEC but I’ve reached the point in my life where I realize she’s still being petty and I can laugh about it because petty is all she’s got. Plus, all my kids are old enough to know what’s going on and I can easily fact check through them.

Anyway, once upon a time it was a huge deal what my MIL was to be called. MIL absolutely would not tell DH and I what she wanted to be called so we picked out cute names for her and FIL. After DS1 came and after the postpartum MIL meltdown ended DS came to me and said his mother wanted to be called “GrandMomma”. Sorry, No. I am Momma and there will be no one more grand than me. This nut waited until after my kid came to be sure what I would be called then shoved GRAND onto the front of it. I shut that down hard.

It’s been 10 years of her trying to get my kids to call her GrandMomma and 10 years of me just referring to her by her name since she didn’t have a title DH and I were ok with. I now call her Granny (when I remember) just because it’s easy and we already have pretty much every other cutesy grandma name that exists. The kids call her by her first name or “hey you” because they’re not comfortable with anything else.

So yesterday I texted her to make sure she got the kids’ holiday lists. After a bit of back and forth making sure she got the lists she says “Yes you know we already have stuff FIL’s counting for part of yours. I told kids to call me some name I have literally never heard her say before ever since they have a granny. “ and starts talking about her mother who my kids call Great Granny. Wait, what? She told my kids to call her something? When did this happen?

I have to admit it was an interesting attempt at a segue but it was not smooth at all. I immediately turn to my kids and ask them if Granny ever told them to call her some name I have literally never heard her say before ever. “Nope” all around. Also, she hasn’t spoken to my children since July and hasn’t been alone with them since 2012 so I’m not sure when she thinks she had his conversation.

I did ask my husband if he had any insight into her seemingly random decision to be some name I have literally never heard her say before ever. He snickered and said she doesn’t want to be called Granny because it makes her feel old. I told him I labeled all the Christmas lists as “Name’s list for Granny”. We agreed that’s probably why she texted me that. He laughed, I laughed, we laughed together then basked in the knowledge that her nuttyness is thousands of miles away.

Tl;dr: MIL has been pouting for 10 years, doesn’t like being called Granny, and has an imaginary conversation with my kids.