Trying to work out what happened

Hey all. I'm a couple months NC with my Nex, and a lot of things have been popping back up in my head that I never really thought much of at the time. I always thought he would never physically hurt me on purpose, despite him actually having done so(pulling me by my hair across the ground while he was drunk, throwing me on the ground/to the couch etc). Even small sober things, he'd pinch me or poke me, knowing it hurt, and laugh about it. I figured it was just an annoying thing he liked to do, much like constantly jumping out from dark rooms to frighten me(despite repeatedly asking him not to) so often that if I didn't know where he was in the house I would be terrified and sneak around making sure to check behind every corner I could. It was hilarious to him.

When in the kitchen, cooking, he'd wave a knife around in his hand. I'd once told him how uncomfortable that had made me, and from that point onward he made a great thing of pointing knives at me, walking toward me holding a knife, etc. At one point he pointed one inches from my belly, and I remember another time turning around to see him holding one behind me. He found it hilarious. He'd laugh, put the knife down, and come over to comfort me and tell me how he'd never ACTUALLY do anything like that. It wasn't the only time he'd done anything like that, he used to smother me with pillows as a joke, or strangle me as either a joke or because it was 'erotic'. I was once sitting at my desk playing a computer game and he came up behind me, put me in essentially a chokehold and pulled. I passed out at my desk briefly, and he walked out. I followed and told him what had happened, and his response was pretty unphased.

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Is this common in these relationships? Does this sort of thing happen in normal relationships?