Why is it so hard to have a "spiritual" experience?

I know there is more to this. We all know there is more to this. That's why we are here, right now. But, why is it so difficult to access that special place that I (personally) have only been able to access a handful of times (usually through the psychedelic headspace if I'm being honest)? The place of true, perfect, blissful knowledge where you understand who YOU TRULY ARE. Why can't we just sit with the intention of going to this place and magically be there? Would that be too easy? Would you not learn "what you are supposed to learn"? I don't know.

I feel as though I need something in the moment. I need something so undeniable that I can't possibly believe anything other than this moment. A spiritual experience. An awakening. An understand of how powerful we actually are. A reassurance that, at the core of EVERYTHING is LOVE.

I can't help but feel like there is something so much more than this base reality that a lot of people take for granted and don't question. It is maddening and yet I can't seem to find a way to lift the veil and see AND FEEL what lies beyond.... The thing that truly matter.

-Emerson